I Choose You
by Cache
Summary: Crossover: EFCMercedes Lackey. Slash. Da'an, Lili, and Sandoval find themselves thrown into Valdemar.
1. Default Chapter

Type: Crossover, Slash 

Type: Crossover, Slash 

Disclaimers: Earth: Final Conflict and its characters are copyrighted by Tribune Entertainment Company. [Da'an, Sandoval, Lili] 

The Valdemar universe and its characters are copyrighted by Mercedes Lackey and the books (_The Last Herald Mage_ series) are published by the DAW Fantasy publishing group. [Vanyel and Yfandes, Savil and Kellan, Moondance, Starwind and their respective bondbirds, Brightwind] 

Rating: R 

There should be some other warnings that go with this. It is without a doubt a slash piece. This _is_ written off of Mercedes Lackey's stuff-and that includes her homosexual themes. You're warned right now. If you don't like it, don't read it. Just don't bother me about it. Obviously, I don't have a problem with it—or I wouldn't be writing this. If you do have a problem, I don't want to hear about it. That's what these warnings are for. 

Spoilers: Up to and including 'Atavus.' Mercedes Lackey's _Last Herald Mage_ series. 

Summary: Da'an, Lili, and Sandoval find themselves thrown into Valdemar. 

Author notes, etc.: Even if you don't read Mercedes Lackey, I think you'll enjoy this. Just hang in there. Everything is explained—eventually. You learn at about the same rate the EFC characters do. I've tried to explain everything that's important to the story. Outside knowledge of the ML universe should only supplement the piece. 

Regarding a timeline…. For the EFC universe, this takes place sometime after 'Atavus.' For ML, it corresponds with the _Last Herald Mage_ series, somewhere in between the first and second books. After Tylendel, but before Vanyel finds his second love. 

Okay, this is an ALTERNATE universe. Very alternate. I have taken liberties with both sides. I've always written Sandoval loosely, this is no exception. And I've done things with ML's universe too. I know there are lots of things that are wrong—why complicate the story line with unneeded explanations? And I know there cannot be a _kestra'chern_ at this time, but… I happen to like Sunlark, so he gets a place in my story. 

Sunlark and Ragan are created by Gwyn. Sundance and her respective bondbird, Whitestar, Serous, and Wintersong all belong to myself. Please do not take them without permission. 

Finally, thank you to Gwyn and Ja'el for betareading this piece. Gwyn—the expert on Valdemar. And Ja'el—the non-expert on Valdemar. Both of you are invaluable to this project—and to me.

**********************

Vanyel sighed, stretching as he walked through the empty halls of the Haven court. The meeting of the Heraldic Circle had run late, as usual, but the most conflict they had addressed was a small dispute over whether to allot a piece of land to the Bardic Collegium or keep it as open acreage-and, consequently, a practice ground for Heralds and their Companions. At least, for once, the borders were peaceful. Finally. Maybe now he'd be able to get some rest. He hadn't truly realized how tired and drained he was until he'd reached Haven yesterday morning and had seen his bed. 

_:What did Savil have to say, beloved?:_ Vanyel smiled, hearing Yfandes' 'voice' in his head. Her presence had ceased to be a surprise years ago, shortly after he had been Chosen. Now his Companion's blunt humor and way of discussing things had become just as common place and comforting as her constant presence. 

_:I had thought you would be listening,:_ he replied. 

_:I was busy,:_ she snapped shortly. He could feel the implied edge to the words. _:Besides, I didn't figure I would miss much.: _

_:You're right, it was a long meeting about nothing. But it gave Savil and I a long time to talk.:_

_:Well…:_ Yfandes urged him on. 

Vanyel thought back to the long conversation he had carried on via Mindspeech with his aunt during the Circle meeting. _:She pointed out the fact that I'm exhausted and look like hell…:_

_:Which is completely true,:_ she interrupted. _:Go on.:_

_:I would, if you could stay quiet for a moment,:_ he teased her. _:She told me to take a break; to get out of here so that no one can find something for me to do.:_

_:And…?:_

_:And I agree with her. Other Heralds can take care of the few internal problems there are. Even if they do need mage powers, I'm not the only Herald-Mage there is. I'm due for some vacation anyway.:_

_:So where are we going?:_ Yfandes' pleasure at the thought of a vacation was unmistakable. He couldn't blame her-they'd spent a year on the borders in deplorable conditions without a day's rest. 

_:I don't want to go home.:_ Vanyel paused. _:Savil mentioned she'd spoken to Starwind…and, I must say, soaking in the hot springs of k'Treva is very tempting. We'll discuss it tomorrow.:_ Vanyel reached the door to his quarters and thought longingly about the bed immediately behind it. 

_:Chosen…?:_ she asked slightly reluctantly. 

_:Uh huh,:_ he replied, tired and eager to get to his bed. 

_:Could you perhaps braid some of the beautiful flowers growing outside the stable into my mane and tail?:_

_:What?!:_ Vanyel exclaimed. _:It's late! And it's dark-no one can see your mane and tail!:_

_:But… I…:_ she faltered. _:Gavis is coming in early tomorrow morning and I look like a common plow horse.:_

Vanyel couldn't help but smile. _:I doubt you look like a 'common plow horse,' but, yes, I will come down and braid your hair. I do not understand what it is you see in him-overmuscled, brainless…:_ Vanyel turned towards the stable. 

Passing the Companion's Field, he picked several handfuls of the small wildflowers growing there. Entering the stable, he found Yfandes waiting for him-her slick white neck arched and her sapphire eyes fixed on him in anticipation. He blinked quickly, suddenly mistaking her for a graceful white horse. He must be more tired than he thought, he never considered Yfandes a 'horse,' not even when they were riding. 

_:You all right, Chosen?:_ she asked, concern clouding her eyes. 

_:Yes, I'm fine, 'Fandes. It's nothing.:_ He smiled. _:So, do you want these flowers in your hair or not?:_

She snorted, shaking her head, in response; her thick silver mane cascading over her neck. 

*** 

_:I cannot believe you would even consider Gating to k'Treva.:_ Yfandes commented, as Vanyel finished tying his packs to her saddle. 

_:Would you prefer I ride you the entire way? If we don't Gate, we won't have any time there-we'll spend it all in transit.:_

_:Do you remember what happened last time you Gated?:_ She turned her head so as to study him. 

Vanyel sighed, patting her neck. _:Of course I do, I thought I was going to pass out from the pain before we got through it. But I'm rested, 'Fandes, and Moondance will be on the other side to help if anything happens to me.:_

"Need any help, Van?" Savil entered the stable. 

"No, I'm done. Just talking to Yfandes. She's trying to convince me not to Gate." 

"I agree with her." Savil moved to her Companion's stall as Kellan ran in from the field, removing some loose grass from his forelock. "Do you have any clue what you're doing to yourself?" 

"I'm rested, I'll be fine." Checking his tack one last time, Vanyel headed out of the stable, Yfandes directly behind him. "You said Moondance and Starwind would be waiting?" he asked Savil as she came to walk beside him. 

"Yes, they'll be there. They're not too happy with this idea either." 

Vanyel stopped, turning to Savil. "I've spent a year on the border, I'm tired of riding places. And Yfandes is tired of me riding her places. It's not fair to ask her to carry me all the way to k'Treva. And if we did ride, by the time we got there, we'd have to start back." He continued on in silence, quickly reaching the Grove Temple. "Quit worrying, Aunt." He said a short goodbye and turned his mind to the building of a Gate. 

Gates were truly remarkable-allowing people, animals, and goods to travel great distances in a short expanse of time. However, their demands on mages were great, requiring the use of a large amount of personal energy. They had their limitations too, able to reach only to a destination the creator knew. Not to mention the effects of such a large disruption of the natural energy flow had on the weather patterns… 

Placing the finishing touches on his Gate, Vanyel fought down the pain that threatened to consume him. Perhaps this had not been such a great idea… He drew a sharp breath as a sudden surge of power coursed through his body. The Gate pulled, seeming to search out a new destination-as if attracted by an unknown force. Channeling more of his own energy, he set the Gate into place once again, anchoring it against the pull. Leaning into Yfandes for support, he crossed the threshold of the Gate, collapsing to the ground the moment he was through. 

*** 

Lili glanced out the window at the darkening sky. Lightening flickered, illuminating the heavens, a soft rumbling of thunder following. She sighed, turning away from the view of the weather. Piloting a Taelon shuttle eliminated many worries. In a helicopter such weather might be a source of concern. But with the shuttle's interdimensional capabilities, conditions were only important for as long as it took to make the jump. Now, getting _out_ to the shuttle might prove interesting… 

The approaching of Da'an and Agent Sandoval broke Lili from her thoughts. "I assume the conference went well?" she asked, hoping she was not overstepping her bounds. Sandoval glared at her in response. 

Da'an, however, nodded and turned to her. "The religious leaders of this country are eager to help their people. They view Taelon programs and technology as a means to reach their ends." 

"It appears the weather has turned on us, Captain," Sandoval interrupted, giving the weather little more than a cursory glance. "Perhaps we should leave before it breaks." 

Lili bit back the sharp reply that came to mind and led the way to the shuttle. She'd lost the perfect opportunity to gain information pertinent to the Resistance. Automatically running the pre-flight checks, she had the shuttle airborne in a moment. Lili quickly set the coordinates needed, wanting to get the trip over with and not eager to hang around and see how the weather turned out. Perhaps DC would be sunny… "Making the jump to interdimensional." Receiving no comments from either passenger, she continued-the dark, menacing clouds being replaced by the calm, swirling colors of interdimensional. 

Lili jumped as a strong vibration rocked the shuttle. "What the…" she started, pulling up the craft's readings. 

"Is there something wrong, Captain Marquette?" Sandoval asked accusingly. Lili rolled her eyes. 

"I… It's as if something is pulling us off course. The shuttle's working perfectly, but… Attempting to compensate." Lili adjusted several controls, trying unsuccessfully to regain control of the shuttle. The craft lurched once again and there was a sickening feeling of falling. Suddenly the scene changed, bright sunlight and miles upon miles of trees replacing the surreal qualities of interdimensional. Power surged through the shuttle's systems, effectively rendering them useless. Lili gave up trying to secure control. "Brace for impact." 

*** 

Starwind stretched lazily, watching his bondbird glide effortlessly above the treetops, carried along by a gently breeze. _:Storm comes,:_ the falcon Mindsent. 

He couldn't help but smile at the bird's perception. _:We'll be back in the Vale long before then.:_

_:Good. Hungry,:_ she replied, alighting on a nearby branch. She tilted her head, studying her bonded expectantly. 

_:Wait or go catch your own.:_ Starwind stood, turning to Moondance who was dozing lightly in the sun. "Beloved…" he said reluctantly, not really wanting to wake him. "_Ashke_," he began again softly, "do you intend to sleep all day?" The younger Tayledras stirred, waking almost immediately. 

"I still cannot believe Vanyel would choose to Gate here," he said, standing. 

"It would not be my choice, but…" Starwind closed his eyes, feeling a change in the surrounding energies. He turned to the Gate which had appeared a short distance away. Within only a few heartbeats the Gate terminus was stable and Vanyel came through, Yfandes supporting him. Starwind moved immediately towards them, Moondance at his side, but stopped as the Gate surged, pulling on the natural energies of the land. Gates weren't supposed to… He jumped, surprised, as a large flying object erupted from the Gate, the portal collapsing as it passed through. 

_:Big bird!:_ Starwind's falcon shrieked in his mind, launching herself into the air. 

Starwind studied the object. It was definitely _not_ a bird. Sleek and smooth, the sun glinted off its purple and blue exterior. While it consumed a large amount of energy, none appeared to be of mage origin. Catching a glimpse of the front of the object, Starwind realized there were people inside. After a few moments of erratic flight, the craft fell to the ground. Moondance met Starwind's eyes questioningly. "See to Vanyel," Starwind told him. Moondance nodded and hurried off, as Starwind turned and approached the unknown object. 

Regardless of what it was, it was broken-that much was certain. Starwind suspected that it perhaps hadn't landed quite as softly as it was intended to, considering that it now lay in several pieces on the ground. The people he had seen inside were pulling themselves from the wreckage. Moving closer, Starwind scoffed, at least they had had the common decency to fall completely to the ground-he wasn't much in the mood for climbing trees. 

Reaching the edge of the ring of debris, Starwind stopped, glancing over the people. There were three, and given that they weren't throwing a fit, he assumed that was the entire party. A female was the closest to him, kneeling over a man laying on the ground. Her hair was cut shorter than any Tayledras scout and just as brown-perfect for blending in with the foliage. Her clothing was tight and workmanlike, practical but definitely not flattering. Perhaps she _was_ a scout of some sort… 

The man she was helping free himself from the loose wreckage was dressed in much the same manner. Though of a different style, it spoke loudly of practicality. He was darker than the others, more like a Tayledras in that fact-though his ebony hair was cut much shorter than customary, shorter than the woman's even. 

Starwind looked to the other 'being.' Tall and pale, it had an air about it as graceful and majestic as a hawk in flight. Starwind studied the 'creature' for a moment-he had never seen another like it, nor had he heard of such a thing in any of the clan stories. The energy it commanded! The brightness of it almost blinded his Othersight. It was as if the being was made completely of energy. Not exactly mage energies, but energy so connected to the earth and natural lines that surely it could control them if it wished. 

Confidently, Starwind approached them. They _were_ in his territory after all… Hearing him approach, they turned as one, startled. The woman yelled something at him in a language he did not understand. Ignoring her, he knelt by the man who sat on the ground. He'd raised one of his arms defensively, and Starwind unconsciously strengthened his shields. It wouldn't do to underestimate these people… Silently he prayed to the Goddess, asking her to understand what he was about to do, and reached out with his mind-connecting with the man's and pulling from him his language, culture, and the events that had brought them here. 

"Forgive me," Starwind said, breaking the connection. "But it is imperative that we are able to communicate, and that I know the circumstances of your presence." He offered the man his hand to help him rise. "I am Starwind." 

"Agent Ronald Sandoval, Attaché to the North American Companion Da'an," the man said shortly, standing without Starwind's assistance. Starwind shrugged as the man eyed him warily. 

"I mean you no harm," he explained, looking over the others. 

"For this we are grateful," the 'being' said softly. A Taelon, Starwind reminded himself. He'd pulled at least that much from the man. "I am Da'an, Companion to North America. This," he motioned gracefully to the woman, "is Lili Marquette." 

"Shuttle pilot," the woman added curtly, glancing around as if unsure of her surroundings. 

_:Storm comes quickly. We go _now!: Starwind turned just in time to see his bondbird take up a perch in a nearby tree. He studied the sky for a moment, agreeing. Dark clouds were beginning to appear on the horizon; the storm front had moved in much more quickly than he'd expected. 

_:Yes, we must leave. Come here.:_ Starwind offered his arm to the falcon. Within a moment she was there, and working her way up his arm to his shoulder. He turned back to the others, who started wide-eyed at his bondbird. "There is much to explain, however, I am afraid it must wait. Bad weather threatens." 

"Everything all right?" Moondance asked in Tayledras, approaching the group. 

"To a point," Starwind replied, opening his mind to his good friend and sharing with him what he had learned. "How's Vanyel?" He dropped to the strangers' language, hoping to keep them from feeling uneasy. 

"Well. He'll have a headache for a few days, but that's to be expected." Moondance complied with the language switch-at home at once with the unfamiliar tongue. "And these…?" 

"Shock and confusion only. They will recover without your help, Moondance." Starwind paused. "We must decide what to do with them." 

"We can't take them back to the Vale," Moondance protested immediately. 

Starwind closed his eyes as memories that were not his own overcame him-confusion, surprise…fear. Such were the downfall of a mind to mind transfer… "They did not come here intentionally. And," he motioned to the steadily darkening sky, "the weather is about to turn. The scouts have reported spotting a pack of _wyrsa_ in this area; they will be driven out by the storm. Alone, I wouldn't expect them to live more than a day." 

"But to take them into the Vale…the Council…" Moondance insisted. 

"Do not worry about the Council; I shall deal with them. Besides, I see no other option." Starwind shrugged. "We should go…" 

Moondance nodded. "Vanyel's with Yfandes. I'll get them…" 

*** 

Lili silently walked through the woods behind the strangers, studying the scenery. There was something about the woods…something that didn't feel right. She had the uneasy feeling that the stranger, Starwind, had been right-they wouldn't have lasted out here for long on their own. Where ever 'here' was… 

She let her gaze fall on Starwind who walked before her. He was tall with long grey…no, silver hair. Several strands at the temple had been neatly braided, white feathers worked into the plait. His clothes, while practical for the terrain, were made of a beautiful, flowing material unlike anything she had ever seen, and they were designed with smooth, flattering lines. A confident and competent air surrounded him, and he appeared as calculating and hard to read as any Taelon. Lili's eyes fell upon the bird on his shoulder. A magnificent white bird of prey, it sat there calmly, obediently, completely unrestrained and free. As imposing as a skrill, if not more so. A skrill was under the control of its host, and it didn't naturally kill things-at least she didn't think they did… 

"Watch… There is a bramble…" Lili started at the words, broken from her thoughts. She looked up, finding the younger copy of Starwind beside her. What had Starwind called him? Moondance? "I am sorry, I did not mean to startle you." 

"It's…it's okay. I'm still kind of jumpy. This…" She motioned to the forest around them, unsure of how to continue. 

"I can only imagine what a shock it must be for you. This is so different from your world…" 

"How do you know that?" she countered, accusingly. 

Moondance smiled slightly. "Forgive me, I should not have mentioned it." 

"It's too late for that!" Lili protested. 

"Starwind pulled more than your language from him." He nodded slightly in Sandoval's direction. The implant walked obediently at Da'an's side. "He also learned of the circumstances surrounding your arrival, along with a small amount of your culture and who you are. He has shared this knowledge with me. I am sorry; we only wished to know you better." 

"You _took_ those things from Sandoval's head?!" Lili asked, unbelieving. Moondance was silent, refusing to meet her eyes. "You'd better be doing a lot of explaining…" 

Moondance remained quiet for a moment then looked at Lili, a teasing glint in his pale grey eyes. "But it is you who have dropped uninvited into our forest." Lili jumped as something behind her snorted loudly. Moondance turned immediately and left her side, Lili let her attention follow him. 

Moondance had gone right to the side of the other in his party, the one Starwind had referred to as Vanyel. She'd gotten the idea that they were worried about him…and they had the right to be. He was obviously not well-exhausted, thin, and ghastly. There was a look in his eye that reminded her of the soldiers she'd seen on the front of the SI War. They were the eyes of someone who'd seen too much pain and suffering…who'd sacrificed all they had to give. 

Even though younger than the others, this man had the same silver hair and clear grey eyes. Still, there was something different-he was not of their kind, that much was certain, yet somehow he also belonged. Lili shrugged, dismissing the though; she was only confusing herself… The man was dressed conservatively in dark browns and greens. Clothes that easily blended into the surroundings-he'd obviously known where he was going. He was riding a beautiful white horse with a silver mane and tail. The horse snorted again, raising its head and meeting Lili's gaze with its crystal-clear sapphire eyes. Lili glanced away immediately, there was just too much intelligence in those eyes for her comfort… 

"The Vale," Starwind said, pausing. Lili stopped, looking around. There was an unmistakable 'line' in the forest, where it changed from normal forest growth to the kind more likely to be found in the tropical rain forest. Lush, leafy undergrowth, huge, colorful flowers; and trees with trunks as big as houses, whose branches stretched upward for what seemed like miles. 

Without a word, Starwind stepped over the 'threshold.' Lili followed, surprised by a tingling sensation that covered her entire body. When it passed an instant later, she realized it was warmer-several degrees so-and quite humid, though not uncomfortably so. 

"What the…?" Sandoval started, glancing around. 

Starwind scoffed lightly and turned to Moondance, who was helping Vanyel dismount. No, Lili thought, not to Moondance…to the horse?! "My dear Yfandes, Vanyel is in good hands. I believe you would find several _hertasi_ at the main springs more than willing to untack you and provide you with oats…" The horse nodded its head slightly as if it had understood, and headed off down a nearby path. Lili shook her head, unbelieving. Talking to it was one thing, but were they just going to let it wander around on its own? 

"There is much we must discuss," Starwind said, turning to face their party. "However, it may wait until the morning. I will show you where you may rest." Without waiting for an answer, Starwind started down a path. Lili looked to the others in her group; with a nod from Da'an, she followed Starwind. 

Reaching a medium sized wooden structure hidden under the low branches of a tree, he stopped. "I know not how you would react to an _ekele_; many who are not of Tayledras blood object to sleeping in the treetops." Starwind motioned to the branches overhead. "This structure is currently empty, it will suffice. I shall see that the _hertasi_ bring you something to eat and clothes to change into. We shall speak in the morning and perhaps I shall be able to relieve some of your confusion. Until then I must brief the Council on your presence." He turned quickly and left without a sound. 

Uncertain of what exactly to do, Lili entered the structure, Sandoval and Da'an following her. The building was definitely set up as quarters, with a table and chairs along one wall, several beds along another. Lili absentmindedly fingered one of the blankets on a bed. The dark green material was soft and silky, designed to resemble leaves. She'd never seen anything quite like it. "Why do I get the feeling I'm living in a fairytale?" she asked, smiling at the thought. 

Sandoval gave her a cold glare. "We must find a way out of this 'fairytale.'" 

"What?!" Lili asked, surprised. 

"Do you suggest we remain here, Captain?" he countered. 

"No, but… Sandoval, we don't even know where we are. I don't think we can justify trying to find our way 'out.' Where are we going to go? The shuttle's useless, we're surrounded by forest…" 

"I am afraid I must agree with Marquette, Agent Sandoval," Da'an interrupted. "To attempt to leave is a foolish action. These people have yet to threaten our safety in any way-they have, in fact, been quite helpful. Perhaps they will be able to assist us in getting home." Sandoval bowed his head subserviently in reply. 

"I don't know about you all, but I'm tired," Lili said, eyeing the nearest bed… 

***


	2. I Choose You--Part 2

Sandoval woke with a start

Sandoval woke with a start. He was not where he should have been… Sunlight streaked across the bed, a warm, gentle breeze circulated through the room, bird cries echoed through the air, the sound of running water beneath it all… This was _not_ his apartment…. 

Suddenly he remembered-the odd shuttle crash, the people that had found them… Sitting up, he surveyed the room. Da'an sat nearby, eyes closed in a seemingly meditative state. Captain Marquette lay on the next bed over, sound asleep. Someone had been in the room since he'd fallen asleep. The table was covered in food and clothes had been laid at the foot of his bed. 

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw something move. Not quite a figure, more of a shadow…but definitely a presence. Da'an! Without stopping to think, he instinctively fired his skrill in the direction of the movement. There was a sound of hurried scurrying and then silence. Rising, Sandoval shook his head; he was too jumpy… He glanced to Da'an and Lili-neither had stirred. 

Quietly, so as not to disturb them, he walked to the end of the bed, studying the clothes that had been left there. Designed much like a robe, the garment was of a rich midnight blue and silver, silky and draping with a round, flowing cut. He scoffed lightly, allowing the piece of clothing to fall back to the bed. 

"Pity really. It would look nice on you." 

Sandoval jumped at the voice, surprised. He turned to find a tall, silver-haired man standing in the doorway to the room. One of the men from yesterday. "I am Vanyel," the man said, smiling at Sandoval's surprise. "And you must be Sandoval. I am honored to make your acquaintance." 

Sandoval stood, staring. How did he know…? 

Vanyel laughed softly. "Starwind has shared your language with me-along with any other information he had. By this afternoon most likely the entire clan will know." The man sat down at the table, picking up a piece of fruit. "Please, join me," he motioned to an empty chair. "We will wait for your friends to wake and for mine to join us. Besides, after attacking a _hertasi_ this morning and refusing to wear the clothes they have picked out for you, you would not want to disappoint them further by not eating the breakfast they have brought." 

Sandoval nodded, taking a seat and picking out a piece of fruit from the table. This man did not appear to be a threat, at least not at the moment. And he was in a position which gave him little control over the matter-a situation he did not enjoy. He was relying completely on these strangers… 

"I am so hungry," Lili said, joining them several minutes later. Da'an also approached the table. 

"Da'an, Captain Marquette, may I present Vanyel," Sandoval said, attempting to exert _some_ power over the group. 

"I am pleased to meet you," Vanyel replied, nodding politely. "I'm afraid I am the cause of your unexpected arrival here." 

"Vanyel? You shouldn't be up and around, you should be in bed, resting," Starwind interrupted, entering the room. 

"I'm fine," Vanyel insisted. "And I wished to accompany you around the Vale." 

Starwind nodded, giving in. "First, however, there is much I must attempt to explain. This will be difficult…" he said, sitting down. 

"Very simply," he began after several minutes of silence, "you are no longer on your world." He paused, letting that sink in. "You were inadvertently 'transported' here through Vanyel's Gate." 

"A Gate?" Lili asked. 

Starwind sighed, "Where should I begin? A Gate is a method of transportation, of sorts. It is a portal created by manipulating the natural energies of the land, and allows rapid movement between two places quite distant from one another. 

"Like interdimensional travel," Lili interrupted. 

Starwind studied her curiously. "Somehow Vanyel's Gate was able to span the separation between worlds and to bring you here." 

Da'an nodded. "It is possible," he said softly. "The Taelons have long known of the existence of other dimensions. To be able to travel between them is probable." 

"Either way, you are here. There is no doubt about that," Vanyel added. 

"How do we get home?" Sandoval asked. 

Starwind hesitated. "I do not know. Perhaps you do not." The room fell silent. "I would wish to show you the Vale, and explain to you about our people…" Starwind said, finally breaking the silence. With nods of agreement from around the table, he rose and left the building-the others following. 

"You are currently in the k'Treva Vale," Starwind began, motioning to the beautiful foliage about him. "This is our home, and the Council has agreed that you may call it yours." He started down a path, stopping by a gently running stream. "We are the Tayledras, the Hawkbrothers. There are many groups of our kind in this area. Our job is to cleanse the wilderness of the wild energies left over from the Mage wars-to tame it or drain it off-and make the land inhabitable once again." He smiled. "Do not worry, you are safe within the Vale." 

Starwind turned, following the stream to a large open field. In the center stood a large upright stone, much like the ones they had encountered in Ireland at Strandhill. But, Sandoval thought, there was something different about this stone. He shook his head slightly, this stone seemed alive…pulsating…. "Our Heartstone," Starwind explained. "This is the center of k'Treva. Here every energy line converges to form the node of k'Treva-our energy center." 

Sandoval watched as Da'an stepped closer to the stone, studying it. He closed his eyes, tilting his head, and momentarily lost his façade. "Are you okay, Da'an?" he asked, concerned. 

"Yes, Agent Sandoval. Merely intrigued." Da'an turned, and they followed Starwind from the field. 

"So we've been picked up from Earth and dropped onto another planet?" Lili asked, still unable to believe what she was hearing. 

"In a manner of speaking," Starwind replied, sitting down next to a bubbling hot spring. "I am sorry. I do not know what to tell you." 

"We thank you for trying," Da'an replied gently. "This is much for us to absorb." 

"I understand," Starwind nodded slowly. He looked up, spotting Moondance approaching. "We shall meet this evening and perhaps you will tell me of your world. I am eager to learn about it. Until then, if there is anything I may do for you…" Da'an shook his head. Starwind rose gracefully and went to join Moondance, the two of them turning to leave. Sandoval quickly rose to follow them. 

"I think that perhaps they should be left alone," Vanyel said quickly, reaching out to stop him. Sandoval studied him for a moment then conceded, sitting back down to discuss matters with Da'an and Marquette. 

*** 

Vanyel shifted his position slightly on the rock, never taking his eyes off the others. They were sitting several feet away, talking. Far enough that he would have to strain to hear what was being said. But at the moment he really didn't care-for now he was content to watch…. 

Lili and Da'an sat half turned away from him in deep conversation. What ever it was they were discussing it had their full attention. Sandoval sat listening, turned partially towards him. Hardly acknowledging the other two, Vanyel allowed his gaze to fall on Sandoval…. 

He was beautiful. Striking. Sunlight fell across his face, highlighting his hair in gold and lending him an exotic look. Beautiful black hair. Vanyel tried to imagine it long, braided, with a snow white feather… Perhaps he would ask Moondance to lend him a feather when Sandoval's hair grew long enough to braid…. 

_:Chosen?:_ Yfandes' voice broke him out of his thoughts. _:You're daydreaming so loudly that you're ruining my nap.:_

_:I'm sorry, 'Fandes. I didn't realize…:_

_:Of course you didn't.:_ The amusement in her reply was unmistakable. _:You were too busy thinking about braiding feathers into his hair.:_

Vanyel sighed audibly. _:Can you blame me? He's so incredibly beautiful. And I have been so incredibly chaste…:_

_:Unfortunately, he does not seem to share your tastes.: _

_:How do you know that?:_ Vanyel countered, though knew she was completely right. 

_:Because, my love, if he did, he would find you irresistible.: _

_:It's just that seeing Starwind and Moondance together reminds me how lonely I am.: _

_:There are many here who would be more than willing to keep you company…:_

Vanyel shook his head. _:You know I don't want that, 'Fandes.: _

_:I know.:_ She paused. _:They appear to be taking all of this very well.:_

_:I think it appears that way because they have not yet come to terms with the situation.:_ He allowed her to change the subject. 

_:Perhaps you are right. They are lucky to have you and Starwind. Others might not be so accommodating. How did the Council take it?:_

_:I didn't go. Moondance insisted I sleep,:_ Vanyel reminded her. _:But Starwind says they took it surprisingly well. Guess k'Treva is getting used to taking in strangers.:_ He laughed lightly. 

_:And it doesn't hurt that Starwind's the leader of the Council,:_ she suggested. 

_:No, it doesn't,:_ he agreed, glancing up as he suddenly felt her presence nearby. Yfandes emerged from the surrounding foliage, stepping off one of the trails. The sunlight caught her hair, sparkling off the brilliant white and blinding him momentarily. As he regained his sight, she snorted, shaking her head, her thick mane cascading over her neck. He noticed several strands had been braided, decorated with ribbons and crystals. 

_:Mi'lady, you are stunning,:_ he teased. 

_:Not quite your type,:_ she snorted again, striking the ground with a front hoof. _:Some of the children caught me asleep….: _

_:Would you like me to take them out?:_ Vanyel offered, knowing how little she liked such adornments. 

Yfandes seemed to think for a second. _:No, I believe I'm beginning to like it. Now, introduce me to your friends?:_

"Of course," Vanyel replied out loud, startling the others who were staring awestruck at Yfandes. He stood and approached them. Vanyel smiled to the group. "May I present the Lady Yfandes. She has been impatient to meet you." Yfandes bowed her head in greeting. 

The others stood silent, uncertain of how to respond. _:You've left them speechless,:_ Vanyel joked. Yfandes scoffed in reply. 

Finally, Da'an broke the silence. "I am Da'an," he said simply, gesturing gracefully in greeting. Vanyel studied the two for a moment-Companions of the two-legged and four-legged variety. Though Yfandes was far from soft-spoken, the two reminded him of each other. Both were graceful with deep sparkling blue eyes, and both were surrounded by energy which pulsated with every movement. 

_:Something wrong, Beloved?:_ Yfandes asked, fixing her gaze on him. _:This is the second time you've phased out on me.:_

_:Just thinking of how you two reminded me of each other.:_ Vanyel shook his head slightly. 

_:He's…lonely,:_ Yfandes said hesitantly. _:Alone…and afraid. He's used to being linked to the other of his kind. I feel sorry for him.: _

_:And he's leaking that?: _

_:Of course not!:_ Yfandes snapped. _:I'm prying.:_

Vanyel came to his senses, realizing the others were staring at him. How long had he been thinking and talking to 'Fandes? It wasn't like him to lose track of time like that… _:Maybe you should let Moondance look you over,:_ Yfandes suggested. Vanyel quickly dismissed the idea. 

"Agent Sandoval," Sandoval said quickly, nodding curtly. 

Lili started to say something but hesitated, looking Yfandes over. She shrugged slightly, shaking her head. "Lili Marquette. Pleased to meet you, Yfandes." 

Vanyel tried not to smile; it was obvious what Lili was thinking. "Despite appearances," he explained, "'Fandes is far from a horse. She is a…" He eyed Da'an. "…a Companion. I'll try to explain." 

_:This could take a while,:_ 'Fandes commented, laying down to listen. Vanyel sat, leaning into her. 

"I am not Tayledras. I am a Herald-Mage of Valdemar." He paused, collecting his thoughts. "Valdemar is a kingdom quite distant from here. Located there is Haven, home of the court, the Heraldic Circle, and the Companions. As a young boy I was sent to foster there with my Aunt, Savil, another Herald-Mage. There was an accident…" Vanyel drew a sharp breath, remembering… "and the channels in my mind allowing me to control energies, work magic if you will, were opened. Yfandes recognized these abilities and I was Chosen by her-in this way I became a Herald." Vanyel studied their reactions; they sat there staring, confused. 

He shook his head slightly, not knowing what to say-they had absolutely no background… "Maybe I should explain more about the Heralds. Each Herald has a Gift-whether it be Mage Gift, or Mindspeech, or Fetching, or Healing, or any other one or combination. These Gifts are the reason they are Chosen by a Companion. Those Chosen are trained in Haven to use their Gift, or Gifts, to its utmost, along with other important skills. We then assist the ruler in managing Valdemar-being diplomats, moderators, administrators, judges, problem solvers… The Heraldic Circle assists the ruler in Haven." Vanyel glanced up, checking to make sure they had followed him to this point. "I was not trained in Haven; my Mage Gift was too strong for any of the teachers there. I was able to tap large nodes of energy, and I was unable to control it, nor could any of the teachers. That is why I was brought here, to learn from the Tayledras-the only ones who could deal with my Gift." 

Vanyel smiled. "There is just so much to tell you. I do not know where to begin. But you have listened to much for one day, you need not learn and understand everything at once. The bathing pools are most likely not in use at this time; I will show you where you may refresh yourself if you wish." He rose, heading down one of the paths. 

"Here." He stopped after entering a large cavern area. Two tiered springs carved into the rock filled the room, steam rolling off of them. An opening along one wall showed another room exactly like this one, and another beyond that. A soft light filled the entire area, provided by well placed Magelights. Lili approached one of the glowing balls and Vanyel smiled at her interest-he had never thought twice about the lighting source, but for one who had never seen such a thing before… "There are two levels of pools-bathing and resting," he said. "The _hertasi_ will see that you have everything you need. When you are done, continue to follow this path-it will bring you back to your 'house.'" 

Vanyel hesitated, studying how the Magelight seemed to soften Sandoval's features, toning down his no-nonsense, business-like appearance. For a moment, he considered staying, but turned and left the chamber, Da'an following him. 

"These paths are beautiful. They remind me of my gardens on Earth…" Da'an said softly, almost tentatively. 

_:There is much more to see. Perhaps you would accompany me for a walk…:_

Vanyel stood, dumbstruck. 'Fandes hadn't been talking to him, she'd been addressing…Da'an?! Though they had the ability to Mindspeak to whomever they wished, hardly ever did a Companion speak to anyone besides their Chosen or another Companion! Da'an, however, did not seem surprised. After several minutes of silence, Vanyel realized that for once _he_ had been left out of a conversation! 

_:I am sorry,:_ 'Fandes apologized to him. _:I did not know you would be so upset. He is a very proficient Mindspeaker.:_ She turned her gaze back to Da'an. _:I believe there is perhaps more between us than a common name,:_ she continued, and Vanyel realized she was allowing him in on their conversation. 

_:I know not how, but, yes, I believe you may be correct,:_ Da'an replied. 

_:Shall we walk then? There is much to discuss.:_ Yfandes nodded her head in the direction of one of the paths. Da'an bowed his head politely and they moved off. Vanyel quickly closed his link to Yfandes and headed towards the three's 'house.' 

Reaching the structure, he nearly collided with a _hertasi_ hurrying out the door. He nodded politely to the creature, stepping out of its path. The lizard-folk did an excellent job of keeping the Vale in order and were almost excessively helpful. Still, one learned to get used to being pampered, and he missed their thoughtfulness when he was away from k'Treva. Vanyel smiled, realizing the _hertasi_ carried the robes that had been laying on Marquette and Sandoval's beds. One guess where those were going… 

Vanyel entered the building, immediately grabbing the back of a chair as a wave of dizziness overtook him. As it passed, he sat down on one of the unused beds. Perhaps Starwind was right, he should be resting. He was still suffering the aftereffects of the Gate's drain on his energy-if not still recovering from a year on the border. Vanyel sighed, stretching out on the bed. Gating was hard on him, yes, but usually not this hard. Maybe things were finally catching up with him… Then again, no one had ever created a Gate across worlds… Closing his eyes, he fell asleep almost instantly. 

*** 

_:You are very talented in the art of Mindspeech,:_ Yfandes commented, moving slowly and gracefully down the path. 

_:It is used as a form of communication between my people, though we do not call it Mindspeech,:_ Da'an answered, feeling Yfandes was one he could trust. 

_:I had suspected as much. There is a high degree of Empathy in you, along with the Mindspeech…it is not coincidence. And this link is now severed… You are hurt by this.:_

Da'an hesitated, surprised at the truth of her words. _:Yes…only once have I been so alone. It…it was not a pleasurable experience. I do not understand how I could be separated from my brethren without the ill effects you speak of.:_

Yfandes eyed him curiously. _:I do not understand.: _

_:Without our link to the Commonality my people revert to an ancient state. Yet…: _

_:Even your arrival here is an exception.:_ She seemed to smile. _:Why not this too?:_

Da'an shook his head at her reasoning. _:Perhaps… Do you also share such a connection with others of your kind?:_

Yfandes tossed her head, the crystals in her mane shimmering in the sunlight that filtered through the branches. That he was eager to learn was a good sign at least. _:Yes. All Companions are connected together on many levels. However, we are able to separate from the others without ill effects. And there is our connection with our Chosen. Is there a similar bond between you and your Chosen?:_

_:My Chosen?:_ Da'an asked. 

_:Sandoval,:_ Yfandes clarified. 

Da'an hesitated. _:Hearing you speak of your Chosen, I do not believe the two are comparable. Agent Sandoval was offered a position in the service of the Taelons based upon his ability to serve and protect me. We share no mental connection.:_

_:It does not surprise me,:_ Yfandes snorted, an inflection of displeasure coloring her reply, _:considering you have forced his compliance. Who knows what there may be if he joined with you willingly…:_

Da'an bowed his head at her accusations. _:I am not proud of what my kind has done to him.:_

_:His compulsions will be discovered, do not question that. What will be done… You would do well to consider the relationship between Companion and Chosen on this world. We do not force them to submit to us. Though they have no choice in the matter of being Chosen, we do not take away their freewill. Instead, we form a bond in which both partners communicate freely and work together effortlessly. Still, problems do arise…:_ Yfandes stopped, realizing she had truly overstepped her bounds. She did not want to alienate him, but to bring him closer to her. He was trapped here, alone… Befriending him would giver her a chance to help him and to learn more about his people-and whether there was more of a connection between the two races than the few things which were obvious. Besides, perhaps it would give her a chance to change his views… 

The two walked in silence for quite some time, listening to the call of birds around them and the soft murmur of a nearby stream. Finally Yfandes broke the silence. _:Are there mages on your world? Any who have mastered the control of the natural energies?:_

_:Currently Earth does not have such people-or they do not care to acknowledge them. I question the existence of such people-ancient history brings to light many who believed in…magic.: _

_:But your people…,:_ she urged. 

_:No, we do not.: _

_:It amazes me how people separate Mindspeech from Mage powers. Different, but in many ways the same. They are both Gifts.:_ Yfandes stopped, turning to face him. _:You are connected to the natural energies in a way known by very few-perhaps your entire race is this way. If you wished, you would be able to control the energies of this world with ease-an Adept level Mage, no doubt.:_ She paused, allowing him to process this information. _:There are few on this world who could train you. Most likely you are even beyond what the Tayledras can handle. However, if you are willing, I would teach you to use and control these powers. Untrained Mage Gift is…dangerous at the least.:_

***


	3. I Choose You--Part 3

Vanyel woke immediately at the sound of footsteps in the room

Vanyel woke immediately at the sound of footsteps in the room. Momentarily confused and disoriented, he reacted-jumping up and preparing to call a magebolt upon the perceived threat. Suddenly, something caught his attention. Beds. There weren't beds on the front. Where…? At the last second, he pulled the blow, sending the channeled energies into the ground. 

"Enjoying your nap?" Sandoval asked, his displeasure at the mid-afternoon slumber apparent even to Vanyel in his half dazed state. Vanyel shook his head slightly, ignoring the inflection Sandoval had placed on the words. 

He had almost killed the man! 

Another moment and he would have, inadvertently killing an innocent. There was no way Sandoval could protect himself from a mage attack. He had to calm down… 

"Don't _ever_ surprise me like that again," Vanyel said sharply. Sandoval stopped, staring at him, the sharpness of Vanyel's comment mirrored in his cold glare. Vanyel met it for a moment, then smiled, realizing what Sandoval was wearing. "The _hertasi_ finally got their way?" he asked, laughing. 

Sandoval scoffed, glancing at the midnight blue and silver garment he wore. 

Vanyel sat back down on the bed. Sandoval looked much nicer than he'd imagined in that outfit-the _hertasi_ had chosen well. The silken material seemed to flow around him, the rich silver contrasted his black hair. Raven black. He smiled. Raven… "I can see you're not pleased." Vanyel forced himself not to laugh. "I can try to retrieve your clothing but the _hertasi_ will not be very cooperative. They are experts in fashion, and are not fond of what you were wearing. Even if I do succeed in retrieving them, you will have to fight this battle everyday… Do no worry, your clothes will be well taken care of and returned when you wish." 

"Some lizard just stole my clothes!" Lili stormed into the room, eyes wide in disbelief. Vanyel was no longer able to control his laughter. 

"I believe," he said, attempting to stop laughing, "that you have met a _hertasi_. They are the shy lizard folk who take care of the Vale in exchange for the Tayledras' protection. You have nothing to fear from them. They are harmless and they are very…timid-they prefer to be alone with their own kind. You will want nothing with them around." He paused momentarily. "Regarding your clothing, it is as I have been telling Sandoval. They will be returned to you whenever you wish, but the _hertasi_ will not rest until you are wearing clothes they approve of. It seems they have chosen well for you." Vanyel motioned to the outfit Lili was wearing. Based off a scout's uniform, it consisted of tight black pants and a fitted burgundy tunic. Lili smiled tentatively, seeming unsure of the compliment. 

"Where's Da'an?" Sandoval asked accusingly, a challenge obvious in his tone. 

"Headed to the practice field with Yfandes last I saw," Starwind answered him, entering the room. 

"I believe Yfandes has taken it upon herself to instruct him," Moondance added, directly behind Starwind. "Goddess help him." 

Vanyel smiled. "Thank Haven, she needs something to do besides nag on me." 

"I don't understand…" Lili said, sitting down. The others in the room followed her lead. 

"Your friend is beginning his mage training," Starwind explained. He shook his head slightly, dismissing the topic. "Perhaps you will tell me how it is that you arrived here…" 

Lili looked to Sandoval as if for permission. Receiving nothing from him, she began to recount their story. 

"It is interesting that it would be storming on your world," Starwind observed when she was done. "Gates often bring on nasty weather because they disrupt the natural energy flow. He looked to Moondance. "The other Council members should be informed of all this." 

"But not tomorrow," Moondance cautioned. "They don't need to be puzzling over this when they're trying to divert a line." 

"Divert a line?" Vanyel asked. "No one told me anything about planning to divert a line." 

Moondance smiled at him, knowingly. "You are in no condition to deal with the Heartstone. If we had told you, you would have insisted on helping." 

"I'm perfectly capable of…" he started. 

"You're not," Moondance interrupted him, "and you know it. You cannot hide that fact from me." 

Vanyel sighed. Moondance _was_ completely right… 

"We should go." Starwind rose. "There's much that should be done before tomorrow…" Moondance nodded, and followed him from the room. 

"Certainly seems to be a popular place," a female voice said as someone entered the structure but moments after the other two had left. 

Vanyel looked up, trying to place the voice… "And what brings you here, Sundance?" 

A small falcon shot in the door and alighted easily on her arm, quickly taking a perch on her shoulder. Small by bondbird standards, it was still larger than 'natural' falcons. Small because Sundance's figure demanded it. She was petite, small and compact. From a distance she appeared dainty, though he knew all too well that she was not… One had no trouble determining where she drew her use name from; Sundance fit her perfectly. She seemed to glow with an inner light, which radiated from her, touching all those nearby. He suspected there was very little that could extinguish her internal 'fire.' As for her talents, she was graced with the Gift of Empathy, but had chosen not to develop it. Vanyel doubted that there was another scout that loved their work half as much as she did. 

"I must say I'm surprised," she continued, scratching the back of her bondbird's neck. The falcon half closed his eyes, relishing every second. "From the way it looked earlier, I hadn't expected to see Starwind or Moondance again for quite a while." She smiled at the thought. "Actually, I came to see if you were tired of being cooped up in the Vale. I was about to head out…" 

"Starwind and Moondance told you to keep my busy, didn't they?" 

"Of course," she replied, not missing a beat. "They don't want you around while they're preparing for tomorrow. It's either this, or I get someone to cover for me and we go to my _ekele_…" 

Vanyel smiled. She knew very well he wasn't interested. That was one of the things he missed when he wasn't here. Valdemar was so much more 'prim and proper' about these things… After that, the Tayledras' nonexistent sense of modesty was…refreshing. As was their complete acceptance of those who were shaych… 

"To talk," she added, teasing. 

"I'm sure," he countered her. "I'd love to accompany you on your rounds." 

"We'll be back early," she promised. "Moondance says you need sleep." 

Rising, Vanyel sighed. Had Moondance told _everyone_ in the Vale of his condition? He glanced to Lili and Sandoval. Hopefully they would be able to entertain themselves for the remainder of the day… Without a word, he turned from them and followed Sundance form the room. 

*** 

"_Hertasi_, lizard people, _ekeles_, bondbirds… I don't want to know, I just don't…" Lili said, turning back to the room. 

"You still wish to remain here?" Sandoval asked, glancing again at his clothes, displeasure evident on his face. 

"No!" she snapped quickly. "But do you have any better idea? I don't see that we have any choice." 

"Nor do I. Still there must be some way." 

Lili fingered the blanket which had caught her attention yesterday. Yesterday. It seemed so long ago, yet but a moment passed at the same time. "With the shuttle destroyed, I don't see how." 

Sandoval shook his head. Perhaps we should center our efforts on solving that problem…" Lili glanced at him then sat down again, making herself comfortable. She had the feeling this could be a long discussion… 

*** 

_:Are you awake?:_ Vanyel stirred, waking at Yfandes' voice in his head. 

_:I am now. What time is it?:_ he asked, not bothering to open his eyes. 

_:Late. I couldn't sleep.:_ Vanyel tried not to grumble. Since when was he responsible for baby sitting his Companion…? _:I heard that,:_ she teased. _:Did you enjoy your walk with Sundance?: _

_:Yes, actually. We were tracking the pack of _wyrsa_ the scouts spotted the other day.: _

_:Take it you didn't find them.: _

_:No, and it suits me just fine. Let someone else deal with the _wyrsa_.:_ He rolled over, flinching as he hit a strained muscle. _:Not used to climbing trees, though.:_

_:Don't complain,:_ she snorted. _:You could have spent the entire day on the practice field trying to teach Da'an how to center and ground. Did you know he changes colors when he concentrates? Turns blue…:_

_:Would you go to sleep?:_ he asked, annoyed. 

_:No. I told you, I can't,:_ she insisted. 

_:Are you part of the conspiracy against me too?:_

_:Hummm?:_ Yfandes asked innocently. For some reason he didn't believe her. 

_:Starwind and Moondance. They're doing everything in their power to keep me as far away from the Heartstone as possible.: _

_:Oh, yes, diverting the line tomorrow. One of their mages turned up sick today and they asked me to anchor in his place…: _

_:And?:_ he interrupted. 

_:And I said yes. Why wouldn't I?:_ She paused. _:As for you staying away form the Heartstone, I agree.: _

_:I'm perfectly fine!:_ he protested. 

_:Yeah.:_ He caught the sarcasm she attached to her reply. _:Either way, forget about it. If you _are_ too exhausted to handle it, as we all think you are, then keeping you out of the matter decreases the already large risk. If we're wrong and you've recovered enough, keeping you away only saves you work.:_

_:Would you please go to sleep?:_ Vanyel insisted. Fighting with her was maddening! She always had a reply, whether or not it was right. Yfandes was quiet for a time, and he hoped she had decided to leave him alone. 

_:I know there is a deeper connection between us. There is too much in common…:_ she started again, shattering his hopes. 

_:Who?:_ Vanyel asked, rolling over and shoving his head under the pillow. He might as well humor her; perhaps she'd go away sooner. 

_:Da'an,:_ she snapped, amazed that he would have to ask. 

_:You know,:_ he said, letting feelings of amusement travel across their bond. _:I think you've fallen in love with this 'two-legged' Companion.: _

_:I've done nothing of the sort!:_ she exclaimed, indignant. _:Besides, it is _you_ who has a crush on his attaché.:_ 'Fandes paused and he could feel her mood change. _:There are stories my people tell that mention others like him…that relate our interaction with them…:_ Vanyel knew that she didn't necessarily refer to her current state. Appearances could be so deceiving. _:I wish we were back at Haven, I could ask Ragan. It's been so long since I've heard those stories; I've forgotten. But he knows them well…: _

_:Can I go back to sleep now?: _

_:Oh, of course.:_ She seemed to just realize that she had been keeping him up. _:I didn't mean to keep you awake so long.:_ Vanyel shook his head slightly. Sure she hadn't. _:Good night, beloved. Sleep well. And stay out of the way tomorrow, you're not up to it and this is supposed to be a rest…: _

_:No problem. I think I'll be asleep.:_

*** 

Sandoval stopped along the path, taking a seat on a conveniently placed rock. A large bird settled on a nearby branch. It cocked its head, studying him and screamed-seeming to demand his attention. Damn bird; it had insisted on following him around incessantly. Ignoring his feathered 'shadow,' he surveyed the area. At least he was somewhere he knew, close nearby the 'Heartstone' Starwind had shown them yesterday. 

Sandoval shook his head at the thought. He'd spent the entire night discussing 'leaving' with Lili. She was convinced that Da'an was right and that leaving was impossible-at least for now. She was willing to trust these people to find them a way back home. And Da'an… He'd come in well past dark and found them in deep conversation. While he had refused to voice an opinion on the matter, Sandoval was experienced enough in reading the Taelon to see his displeasure at the thought of leaving. Was he the only one to realize that they couldn't stay here? 

The bird screeched again, hopping to another branch. This time there was an answer somewhere down the path. A slightly familiar female voice called out in a language he didn't understand. He turned towards the direction it had come from and moments later a figure emerged from the brush. It was the woman he'd met yesterday. What had Vanyel called her? Sundance? 

"Oh," she said, switching to English. "I'm sorry. I thought you were Wintersong. I've been trying to catch up with him all morning." Sundance glanced at the bird perched on the branch. "Who's your friend?" 

Sandoval followed her gaze. "I do not know, nor do I care. He's followed me all morning." 

Sundance studied the bird closely, then looked to Sandoval, smiling slightly. He had the uneasy feeling she knew something he didn't. 

"I would love to stay and talk, but I'm headed out with the other scouts to make sure that pack of _wyrsa_ doesn't wander this way…" She stopped, realizing that he didn't understand or care. She glanced at the bird again. "You might want to talk to Starwind about your friend." Turning away from him, she launched the falcon on her arm into the air and disappeared down the path. 

Sandoval watched her leave. She was definitely…different. And she reminded him how little he actually knew about this place. _Wyrsa_, these birds they all carried, their unfamiliar language, the odd naming scheme… He knew nothing-nothing about these people or their culture. How could he be content to merely stay here with them? He didn't belong here, he belonged…at Zo'or's side. If they remained here, he lost any leverage he'd gained with the Taelon. He was no good to the Synod leader here… Sighing softly at their plight, Sandoval stood, walking in the opposite direction from Sundance. Now, if he could just find his way back to their quarters… 

A few moments later, he emerged in a large field containing the Heartstone. The entire area was silent. Two concentric rings of people, including the 'Companion' Yfandes, surrounded the upright stone. Another group stood a ways off, watching. No words were spoken among them. Sandoval surveyed the people, spotting Moondance. He stood off to the side with the others, intently focused on Starwind who was part of the inner circle. Silently, he went to stand beside him. Moondance gave him only a cursory glance-seeming to warn him to remain silent. 

He stood, watching-curious as to what held these people's attention so completely. They did not move, they did not talk. It seemed that they did not breathe. Those in the circles stood, their eyes closed. Those outside looked upon them, seeming to note every detail. Minutes passed like hours, the tension tangible in the air. 

Without warning, Sandoval felt a slight change in the air around him. Almost unperceptiable, it was indescribable-more a feeling than an actual change… Suddenly blinding pain exploded in his head, spreading through his body like a wave. He screamed in agony and fell to his knees-unable to stand any longer. What…? He flinched as dizziness joined the pain, clouding any thoughts he may have had. Every nerve was afire, a slow, smoldering fire that engulfed his entire being-leaving nothing behind but the pain… 

***


	4. I Choose You--Part 4

Moondance stood silently, watching the ring of mages before him

Moondance stood silently, watching the ring of mages before him. So far all was well, the energy line had not put up much resistance to being diverted. The entire thing was proving to be, amazingly and surprisingly, relatively easy. 

Still, he wished to be in the circle with Starwind. He preferred to work with him rather than watch. But Starwind had insisted they needed him more to observe as a Healer than participate as a Mage. He'd worried when Brightwind had come down sick-there would be no one to anchor Starwind. Thankfully Yfandes had agreed to join them. He had faith in her powers and trusted her to watch out for Starwind. How could he not trust her? She'd cared for dear Vanyel so many times… 

Moondance broke from his thoughts as Starwind flinched. Something was wrong… He resisted the urge to reach out to Starwind with his mind. The last thing the mage needed was to be distracted. Starwind flinched again, this time half the mages in the inner circle doing the same. Yfandes shuddered in response, striking the ground with a foreleg. Moondance extended his Othersight over the scene to view the 'hidden' energy lines, and was surprised at what he found. 

The line which had been so quiet and easy to work with had begun to flare slightly. Small waves of raw energy were working their way intermittently down the stream. The result was a line that resisted anything they tried to do with it, pulling against their control. 

Moondance gasped as he Saw a huge surge traveling down the line. Perhaps Vanyel would have been able to handle it, though not in his current condition, but none of the present k'Treva mages would. He thought to yell a warning to Starwind, but it was pointless, he would have already realized the danger. Turning back to the group, it was obvious Moondance was correct. Starwind and Yfandes had already built a strong shield wall around them, designed to absorb the energy and drive it into the ground. The other mage teams were busy doing the same. 

The energy surge hit with a flash blinding to his Othersight, as what energy wasn't absorbed by the shields was bounced off. Moondance exhaled sharply in relief; all the shields had held. They would be able to control this. Suddenly the line…exploded, shattering into a thousand pieces. What the… Moondance didn't finish the thought as he instinctively threw up his own defensive shields, realizing the 'shards' of energy were 'looking' for a way to ground-and they would go through any unshielded route to do so. 

While his normal sight saw nothing wrong, his Othersight watched the 'pieces' of energy converge, forming a long, pulsating tendril feed by raw node energy drawn from the Heartstone. Small, fiery-red 'strings' stretched from the main wild line, searching… 

Moondance focused himself, forcing his mind off the node extension. His shields would hold. To all outward appearances, nothing seemed wrong with the scene. It would take another Tayledras to see though the controlled expressions on the mages' faces. He knew they were conferring on what to do about the problem. The others standing with him were focused intently on the group around the Hearthstone, missing nothing that went on inside. Moondance glanced to Sandoval next to him. Sandoval?! He'd forgotten… 

The energy flared at brilliant white as it discovered Sandoval-completely unshielded. Sandoval cried out, collapsing to the ground, as Moondance knew the energies surged through his body. At the last moments, the line seemed to divide, part of it diverting in another direction. Starwind? It would be like the mage to take the energy on himself, sparing any others. 

_:No, _ashke_, I am fine,:_ Starwind said in his mind, responding to his fear. He felt Starwind pull away and in a second the stream of energy was cut off. Moondance knelt immediately at Sandoval's side. The man lay on the ground, unconscious, his face twisted in pain. Moondance dropped his shields, placing a hand on Sandoval's forehead, his pale skin burning beneath his cool touch. 

"How is he?" Starwind asked, leaning heavily on Moondance's shoulder. 

"I don't know yet, not well…" He looked up at Starwind, who was exhausted. "You look awful. I can help…" 

"You can spare nothing," Starwind insisted. "You will need it all for him." 

Moondance nodded, opening his mind to Sandoval's. Very slowly and carefully he worked his way past the pain… "_Shethka_!" he exclaimed, quickly closing the connection with Sandoval. "Ah, _ashke_," he looked up to Starwind. "How am I so cursed as to see two of these in my lifetime?" 

_:Show me,:_ Starwind said softly, offering his mental link. Moondance took it, guiding him back down the line he'd formed with Sandoval. He was not mistaken, several of Sandoval's channels had been ripped-blasted-wide open. Mindspeech, both Thought-Sensing and Projection. Empathy. Healing. The pathways were raw and fully active. He had no clue how to shield his mind from the thoughts and emotions of everyone in the Vale, nor did he know how to shield his own from them… They increased his pain, adding to the torn channels and the already serious backlash he would be suffering from the sudden surge of energy. 

"He's Broadsending," Starwind said, pulling back from Sandoval's mind. "You'll have to sedate him…" 

"I won't," Moondance protested. 

"You will," Starwind insisted, meeting his eyes. "For the Vale's well-being, if not for his own. He'll continue to broadcast his pain, even in sleep. None of us are strong enough to completely shield him, he is too sensitive for that. And you know how hard it is to shield raw powers…" He paused. "It is for the best, _ke'chara_. I will get Vanyel…" 

*** 

"Vanyel." 

"Go away, 'Fandes," Vanyel mumbled, shoving his head under the pillow. She'd kept him up half the night-wasn't that enough? 

"Vanyel," the voice said again. It didn't sound like Yfandes… 

Slowly he opened his eyes. "Starwind?" he asked. The Tayledras looked tired-exhausted-and drained. The lay line…?! Vanyel was instantly awake. "What happened?" 

"There was an accident…" 

"Moondance?" He sat up, suddenly panicking. 

"No, Moondance is well. But Sandoval…" Starwind stopped for a moment, meeting Vanyel's eyes. "Get dressed. I will explain and take you to him." 

Vanyel dressed as quickly as possible, listening to Starwind's account of the incident. "You sent node energy through him?!" he exclaimed. 

"It wasn't as if we did it on purpose. He was unshielded and the line found him." 

Vanyel shook his head. Sandoval was lucky to be alive… 

_:Yes, he is. But it came at a price,:_ 'Fandes' voice entered his mind. Obviously she'd been listening… _:Whitestar's shields failed at the last moment and the line divided, part of it grounding through him.:_ She paused. _:He didn't make it…: _

_:Does Starwind know yet?:_ Vanyel asked. 

_:Not yet. And you don't need to be the one to tell him.:_

"Vanyel?" Starwind asked, curiously. 

"I'm sorry… 'Fandes…" 

Starwind nodded knowingly. "He needs your help. The energy blasted open several of his channels…" 

Vanyel shuddered, not hearing the rest of Starwind's comment. Memories flooded his mind. The pain… The darkness… The fear… He was trapped and couldn't escape, trapped in a nightmare that seemed to have no end. So alone…so afraid…bound in endless pain. His breath caught in his throat as an image was brought to the forefront of his thoughts. Tylendel… With great effort, Vanyel forced the memory from his mind. There wasn't time… Silently, he followed Starwind from the room. 

Most every one had left the Heartstone by the time they arrived. Vanyel knew that Whitestar's body would have been removed from the area immediately-the majority of the mages would have gone with him. A couple had remained, however, and stood watching Moondance in his work. 

Moondance knelt on the ground next to Sandoval, one hand laid upon the man's forehead. His eyes were closed and his face drawn tight in concentration. Yfandes stood immediately behind him, her nose lightly brushing his shoulder, obviously lending him what assistance she could. 

Without a word, he crossed the field, kneeling at Moondance's side. Only then did he allow himself to look at Sandoval. He had gone deathly pale, a stark contrast to his dark hair and the dark blue robe he wore. He was limp and completely unconscious, his eyes rolled back under half-opened lids. The only thing which showed he was alive was the sound of his shallow breathing. Very gently, Vanyel took his hand, feeling the fever which raged through his body. 

"This doesn't look good, Vanyel. Even the slightest touch hurts him." Moondance opened his eyes slowly. "Yfandes was telling me how fond you are of him." 

Vanyel nodded. "Could I…?" He didn't need to finish his request-Moondance knew exactly what he was asking. 

"Of course," Moondance answered. "I've sedated him so it shouldn't cause him much pain." 

Vanyel caught the accusing look Moondance gave Starwind. If Moondance had sedated him, it had to have been at Starwind's insistence. The Healer considered sedatives a last resort, reserved for those he could not form a link with to induce sleep. Focusing, Vanyel carefully followed the line Moondance had established. He gasped in shock as he discovered the open channels. It was amazing Sandoval wasn't mad with pain. Each channel was like an open wound, one more difficult to heal than most. Vanyel paused, realizing he was in the same position his Aunt Savil had been in so many years ago. And Sandoval was in his… No one should have to experience that… 

"We should move him," Vanyel said, turning his full attention back to Moondance. 

"I agree," Moondance nodded. "We'll…" 

A sharp chirp interrupted the Tayledras. Vanyel looked around for the source, spotting a gyrefalcon standing on the other side of Sandoval. He'd noticed the bird when he'd come up, but hadn't paid much attention to it until now. It wasn't any bird he recognized… "Who's that?" 

"Serous," Starwind replied. "He's one of the unbonded birds of the Vale." 

"Well, perhaps we can get him out of here." Vanyel reached across Sandoval attempting to shoo the bird away. "Go on, get back." 

_:No!:_ the bird strongly Mindsent to him, snapping viciously at Vanyel's fingers. _:Serous stay here with Dark One. Good match. Good.:_ The falcon ruffled his feathers and stared directly at Vanyel as if to enforce his decision to stay. 

Vanyel looked to Starwind and Moondance. One glance was all that was needed to realize each of them had heard Serous' remark-the surprise on Vanyel's face was mirrored on theirs. 

"It seems Serous is no longer unbonded," Moondance said simply, after several moments of silence. 

Yfandes snorted, moving to fix the bird in her sapphire gaze. _:I care not who you think you're bonded to, stupid bird,:_ she Sent, very clearly and forcefully. _:You may stay. But if you _ever_ try to bit my Chosen again…:_ She didn't finish the threat, but she didn't have to-Serous obviously understood just exactly what she meant. 

*** 

"I've done the best I can for him," Moondance said, collapsing into the chair next to Vanyel. 

Vanyel glanced quickly at Sandoval's unconscious form on the bed. "Is he going to be okay?" he asked, looking back to Moondance. The Healer was nearly as pale as Sandoval himself and was completely exhausted. 

"I don't know." Moondance shook his head slightly. "He's stable, for the time being, and I've managed to establish a link with him… But he's hurt, Van, so very hurt…" 

"You've drained yourself," Vanyel said softly. He'd only just realized what this was costing Moondance. 

"I'm all right," Moondance tried to reassure him. "It's my fault, you know." 

"What?" Vanyel asked, surprised. Moondance's fault? How? 

"Their shields were going to hold," Moondance explained. "They would have been able to control it, as long as it stayed contained. But… I'd seen him come up, I should have extended my shields to include him. By the time I realized he was unshielded, it was too late. I should have been faster…" Moondance closed his eyes and Vanyel knew he was reliving the recent events, trying to figure out what he could have done to prevent this. 

"It wasn't your fault, Moondance. You weren't responsible for any of this…" he stopped. Moondance wasn't listening to a word he said. 

_:You should have known, Chosen. You're not going to be the one to comfort him, the one he lets close enough to help him. Only Starwind will be able to do that.: _

_:'Fandes,:_ he greeted her in his mind. _:How's Starwind?: _

_:Taking Whitestar's death hard. He needs Moondance as much as Moondance needs him.:_ She hesitated slightly, seeming to think for a moment. _:Do not worry about them. They're merely tired and shaken from this morning's events. If they're allowed to have the afternoon and evening together alone they'll be fine tomorrow. Besides, you have enough to worry about with Sandoval…: _

_:I can't… 'Fandes, I don't know what to do for him,:_ Vanyel protested. 

_:He needs someone who understands and is willing to help him through this. You, above all others, know what he's going through. And you care about him. That, right now, is what he needs most. In addition, someone is going to have to teach him to use his Gifts…:_

Vanyel sighed silently-never argue with a Companion… _:I'm sending Da'an with Starwind, they should be there shortly. I've tried to explain to him what happened,:_ Yfandes continued. _:This is a mess, _ashke_-a mess…:_

Vanyel nodded in agreement, breaking off his conversation with Yfandes. "Are you okay, Moondance?" he asked, concerned. 

"No," he replied truthfully. Vanyel smiled to himself. That would teach him to ask… "But I shall be. I only need some time to think and rest. I will be well, do not worry." Moondance met his eyes. "Starwind will see to that." 

"I shall see to what?" Starwind asked, entering the building, Da'an immediately behind him. Vanyel turned to them. Starwind was also visibly exhausted, drained by the recent events. The older Tayledras' eyes fell on Sandoval and were immediately filled with sadness. Vanyel shook his head; he still hadn't gotten used to losing people, and he had spent plenty of time on the front lines. But Starwind…he hardly left the Vale, let alone the Pelagiris forest. 

"…I agree. Shall we?" Starwind asked, and Vanyel realized that the conversation had been continued without him. 

"Go," he insisted. "I'll watch over him and come get you if you're needed." 

"Thank you," Moondance sighed, then smiled at him knowingly. "Yfandes and I had a long conversation. She assured me you'd take care of him. Seems she was right…" 

"Be careful, dear Vanyel," Starwind warned. "He is not your kind, and you have no idea how he will react to such concepts. Do not let yourself be hurt by him-few here are in the business of healing hearts." 

Vanyel nodded in response and watched the two leave the room. When they were gone, he let his attention fall on Da'an. "I…" he hesitated, not sure what to say. "I'm sorry." 

Da'an stopped him with a delicate hand gesture. "Do not. It is done, and nothing can change that. No one is at fault. Please…" 

"Thank you," Vanyel said, relieved. Though the accident was truly no one's fault, he was not sure he would be as forgiving as the Companion. 

Serous chirped, drawing their attention to him. _:Dark One be okay?:_ he Mindsent to both of them, worried. 

_:I hope so,:_ Vanyel Sent back to him. _:Shhhh… I must talk to Da'an.:_ He walked over to the perch the bird sat on, scratching the side of his neck. 

_:Serous, quiet. Quiet. Let stay,:_ he said, almost frantic. 

_:Of course I'll let you stay.: _

_:Good. Quiet, so you help Dark One.:_

Vanyel smiled. Serous' determination was refreshing. How could he explain to the bird that his 'Dark One' was seriously hurt and may not recover? _:I'll do the best I can, Serous. He's hurt, very hurt…mind hurt.:_

The gyrefalcon pulled away from Vanyel's touch, looking intently at Sandoval. _:Serous understand.:_ Vanyel nodded, turning from the bird. He did understand-all too well. 

"I'm sorry. Serous…" Vanyel started to explain to Da'an. 

"It is all right. Please, tell me about Agent Sandoval's condition." Da'an went to Sandoval's side, gently placing a hand on his forehead. 

Vanyel hesitated. He should tell Da'an the truth, but… It was obvious the Companion cared for the man. Telling him would only make him worry… "He needs a couple days rest, but he should be okay." 

Da'an turned abruptly, glaring at him from the corners of his eyes. "You would lie to me about such a thing?" 

Flinching at the accusations, Vanyel turned away from Da'an's gaze. He'd forgotten, Da'an was experienced in Mindspeech. He hadn't bothered to block his conversation with Serous-Da'an would have heard the entire thing. This was not going well. "He's suffering from severe backlash due to the energy that was channeled through him." Vanyel paused, meeting Da'an's eyes again. "The surge also ripped open some of the channels in his mind-Empathy, Mindspeech, and Healing. It's a lot to deal with. There's a chance he might not make it." 

Da'an tilted his head, turning a lighter shade of blue. "I thank you for you honesty. I would like some time alone with him…" Vanyel nodded, turning and leaving the room. 

*** 

Lili picked up a piece of fruit from the table, examining it closely. Yet another kind she hadn't seen before. Surprising, with all the fruit that had been laid out on the table she'd expected to be able to recognize at least some of it. Laying it back down, she wondered how long it would be before she never wanted to see another piece of fruit again. 

"Lili?" 

She jumped at the sound of her name, turning to face the door. Two people stepped into the room. There was a small compact woman, the same on who had spoken to Vanyel the other day-Sundance. The other was a male. Slightly taller than herself, he was slender but muscular. Long black hair cascaded over his shoulders, a stark contrast to the silver which seemed to abound. 

"Lili," Sundance said again. She looked hesitantly to the man with her. "This is Sunlark. He's a _kestra'chern_." 

Lili stared at her blankly. A what? Did Sundance really expect her to know what that meant? "I'm sorry… I don't understand." 

"Don't worry. It is not important at the moment," Sunlark said softly, perching on the edge of one of the beds. He nodded to Sundance to continue. 

"There was an accident…" she started. "Sandoval was injured." 

Lili met Sundance's eyes, concerned. "Is he okay?" 

"He's with Moondance," she said. "There is no one better to help him." 

"Does Da'an know?" Lili asked. 

"Yes. He has gone to see him." 

Lili sighed, absentmindedly rearranging the fruit on the table. "Thank you for telling me." 

Sundance paused, studying her. "I am sorry to have brought bad news. It's just… I had thought you would be more concerned." 

"I am concerned," she countered defensively, "but…" She looked up at Sundance, instinctively realizing what the scout meant. "I… No… We're not…" she stuttered. "We work together." Lili glanced to Sunlark hoping to see comprehension in his eyes. Her and Sandoval? No… 

Sunlark smiled mischievously, a playful glint in his eyes. "Perhaps," he looked to Sundance, "you are more to her liking." 

Lili stopped, stunned. Panicked, she looked quickly to Sundance then back to Sunlark. 

"I think I would rather braid feathers into her hair than into yours," Sundance replied, not missing a beat. 

Sunlark feigned a hurt look, then his expression changed completely. "Your loss, not mine." He turned to Lili, a look of pity in his eye. "Do not be alarmed; no one will be braiding feathers into anyone's hair. I'm sorry. It was a joke that was taken too far. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable." 

Lili looked at him warily, unsure whether to believe him or not. She trusted him instinctively, something she was not prone to do-not after the SI war… But he projected an air of competence and kindness that she was unable to deny. She shook her head slightly. "I don't understand any of this…" 

Sunlark smiled sadly. "I am afraid that is in part my fault. While Starwind has done the best he is able, I would not expect anyone here to know how to handle such a situation. Had I been her when you arrived, perhaps I would have been able to help the three of you adjust more easily. But, as it is, I was away at k'Sheyna." 

He paused as if waiting for Lili to say something. When she didn't, he continued. "It must be quite a culture shock for you-to be thrown here so suddenly. I can only imagine how different our world is from yours…" 

Lili scoffed. "You're telling me…" 

Sunlark smiled. "Then we shall start from the beginning. As Sundance has said, I am a _kestra'chern_. A position I believe, from the little I know, is comparable to your psychologist." 

Lili rolled her eyes. "Great. Just what I need." 

"I think perhaps you do, as evident from your earlier reaction. The comment was said in jest, it was not meant to offend. It is obvious that this society is much more open and forward about such things than yours is." Sunlark turned to Sundance. "Please, leave us to speak in private." Sundance nodded, quickly leaving the room. 

Lili looked nervously to Sunlark. He continued to sit on the edge of the bed, looking at her expectantly-waiting for her to speak first. He seemed all too at ease in the silence which drug awkwardly on. Lili shifted in her chair, resisting the urge to get up and pace the room. 

"I am not sure how I would handle knowing I might never see my home again," he said finally, breaking the silence. "There would be so many people, so many things I would miss…" 

Lili hesitated, unsure of how much to tell him, how much to remember… "There's not much for me to miss." She shook her head. 

"Is there no one you care for?" Sunlark prodded her. 

"Every one I care for seems to die-Boone, my father…" Lili wiped away the tear that threatened to fall. "And Augur and Joshua never worked out…" She met Sunlark's eyes, turning away quickly, slightly embarrassed. "I don't have a clue why I'm telling you this. You don't know…" 

"I think I may surprise you with how much I am truly able to understand." 

"Boone was a friend, a very close friend. I lost him unexpectedly several months ago." She paused, thinking. "I never really knew my father; he kept a lot of secrets from me. He died before I really got a chance to ever speak to him." 

"The others are romantic interests?" Sunlark asked. She nodded in response. "And what of Da'an?" 

"What do you mean?" she replied. 

"There is…something between the two of you. I have yet to witness it, but the others have told me of it-they are not often wrong." 

"Da'an and I are…close. Or we were. Since Boone died we haven't had much time together. But… There was a time when Da'an and I 'shared.' He allowed me to experience his feelings, thoughts, sensations… I know it sounds stupid…" 

"On the contrary, we too have such bondings," Sunlark supplied. 

"Really?" she asked, surprised and still skeptical. 

"It is not something I would lie about," he assured her. "You care for him greatly." 

"Yes, I do." She bowed her head, avoiding Sunlark's gaze. How could he know so much about how she felt? There was meaning beyond his words-an understanding that need not be spoken between them. 

"I believe we have spoken enough for one day," Sunlark said, after allowing her a few moments to think. He stood, going to the door. "If you require me, you need only ask. Any person in the Vale will know where to find me…" Without another word, he turned and was gone. 

***


	5. I Choose You--Part 5

Darkness

_Darkness. Flying…falling through the black which surrounded him. It swirled around him-engulfing him, choking him… The coldness seeped to his bones-not easing the fire that burned in his body, but increasing its intensity. _

_Voices, thoughts, and feelings forced their way into his mind, finding him in the darkness. No… There were too many… And they brought with them an unbearable pain. So many others-uninvited…yet he was alone…so alone…_

_:Not quite alone, dear Sandoval. Never alone…:_ a soft, gentle voice filled his mind. 

Sandoval flinched away from the voice, expecting pain to follow. It did not. He frantically tried to see through the darkness, to identify who the voice belonged to. 

_:Gently,:_ the voice said again. _:You are far from well. A beautiful ebony raven with a broken wing-healing can only come in time. I cannot take the pain away, but I can show you how to stem the flood which threatens to sweep you away. It is under your command, you must learn to control it…:_

Sandoval felt a force pulling on him-leading…guiding him. He panicked, trying to escape it. _:Easy,:_ the voice said reassuringly. _:I will not hurt you. Please…:_ Unable to resist any longer, he allowed himself to be drawn deeper into the darkness. 

_:Here.:_ The pulling stopped. _:This is your center. And now to ground…:_ The voice swept over him, directing his thoughts and actions. He allowed it to do as it wished, too tired and weak to insist otherwise. _:There,:_ the voice filled his mind once again, releasing its hold on him. 

Free, he found a balance unlike anything he had ever felt before. Elsewhere, chaos reigned; but here… Until now he had not known such a thing existed, nor that he had longed for it… He knew he would never lose this place again. 

_:You learn quickly,:_ the voice noted, pleased. _:Now…a barrier. Dense and it will keep all out. You may change it at your will-you must control it.:_ Sandoval watched as it built a network around him, blocking out every thought, voice, and feeling save his own. Carefully, he tried to do the same, taking down the shield layer by layer and building it back up. 

_:A long road lies ahead of you, Sandoval. But remember you are never alone. I shall help you through this-one step at a time…:_

Sandoval allowed himself to fall into a deep, dreamless sleep. A true sleep. 

*** 

Very carefully, Vanyel pulled back from Sandoval's mind. All his senses once again centered on the physical world, he sighed in relief. Even the slightest mistake on his part would have sent Sandoval into a panic, blinded by pain. At least he would now be able to protect himself from a Vale full of thoughts and emotions-they would no longer overwhelm him. Still, only Moondance could deal with the pain… 

Vanyel gently brushed Sandoval's cheek with his hand. He would recover physically. That Vanyel was certain of. If only he could recover mentally. It was so late for his channels to be opening, especially in this manner-there was so much to deal with. And to be both a strong Mindspeaker and Empath… He had never heard of anyone so talented in both Gifts. To balance those with Healing… 

"You work well with him," Da'an said softly, breaking Vanyel from his thoughts. 

"I have been in his position," Vanyel replied, turning to face Da'an. "This is much for him to deal with-I only hope I can help him through it. He will not be the same person he once was." 

Da'an bowed his head. "I know." He met Vanyel's eyes. "I should leave you alone with him. You do not need me here to distract you." 

"It's the middle of the night, Da'an," Vanyel insisted. It seemed Da'an was very politely _trying_ to leave the two of them alone together. Surely he couldn't know… Vanyel pushed the thought out of his mind. "There's no need to find your way around the Vale in the dark. Stay." 

_:Stay. Scratch Serous' neck.:_ The bird moved closer to Da'an. 

Vanyel laughed to himself. Who could disobey an order like that? 

*** 

"Is that you, Sunlark?" Lili asked, hearing someone enter the building. The _kestra'chern_ had taken to stopping by everyday for the past week and a half. He'd explained so much to her-who the Tayledras were, how the Vale operated, recent history of this world, and some basics of the Tayledras language. 

"No. It's Sundance…" 

"I'm sorry." Lili turned around. "I was expecting Sunlark." 

"Actually, it was Sunlark who sent me," Sundance explained. "He asked me to tell you that while he is always available, he felt you no longer needed him." 

Lili bowed her head slightly, disappointed. While there had been nothing romantic between them, she'd grown fond of the time she and Sunlark spent together. He was so easy to talk to…and it had been so long since she could be that open with anyone. Over the course of their discussions he had learned almost every detail of her life-yet she knew so little about him… 

"He told me you had been something like a scout on your world and that you might enjoy learning what I do," Sundance continued. "We are always in need of more scouts. And since you don't know when you will be able to leave, if ever…" she didn't finish her offer. It was already clear. "That is, unless you would rather stay around the Vale…" 

"No," Lili said quickly. "I feel useless sitting here not doing anything. I'd love to work as a scout, if you think I can. But I have to warn you, I don't have a clue what I'm supposed to do." 

Sundance smiled, excited at the prospect of training a new scout. "The Council has accepted all of you as members of k'Treva. I do not think they would object to you taking action to contribute to its well being. On the other hand, I believe they would welcome it. As for learning… I will show you what is expected and teach you the ways of the forest. You will learn quickly, I am sure." 

Lili laughed. "I hope so." It was obvious Sundance and she were becoming great friends. 

"Oh," Sundance glanced at her, "do you know how to handle a bow?" 

"A bow?" Lili shook her head. 

"That I must teach you before we venture outside the Vale. Come…" 

*** 

"I think I might have found something that would interest you," Moondance said, looking up from Sandoval. 

"What?" Vanyel went immediately to the Healer's side. Moondance had been working with Sandoval for a week and a half, what would he be finding now? He opened his mind, finding Moondance's link and following it down to Sandoval. 

_:They're Compulsions,:_ Moondance said, repulsed. 

"Compulsions?" Vanyel asked, pulling back from his mind. "Why? Who would have set them?" 

_:Maybe you should ask Da'an,:_ Yfandes interrupted. 

"Da'an?" He turned to the Taelon, confused. "What do you know about this?" 

Da'an bowed his head, avoiding Vanyel's eyes. "It is my doing," he said softly. "My people require all Protectors to be implanted with a CVI. It ensures their loyalty and makes them better able to serve us… I do not support the practice, but I have done nothing to stop it." 

Vanyel shook his head. He hadn't a clue what Da'an had just said, but it really didn't matter. "Can you reverse them?" he asked Moondance. 

The Tayledras sighed. "There are many of them, and they are set in a manner I have never seen before. It is almost as if his entire mind has been affected. But…" 

"But?" Vanyel prodded him. 

Moondance smiled. "But I think I can reverse them. And it will not take long…" He turned back to Sandoval. Vanyel nodded, watching impatiently. 

"There." Moondance stood some time later. "When pathways are forced against their will in that manner, they are easy to reverse. They wish to revert to their natural state, it takes only a small amount of persuasion to place them there." He paused. "I've done everything possible for him. Physically he is fine…" Starting for the door, he stopped. "I'll send the _hertasi_ with some bread and water. You might wake him… Be careful, Van." He turned and left. 

"It would be best if I am not here when he wakes up," Da'an said, heading for the door. 

"You've sat here nearly as long as I have," Vanyel protested. "You should be with him." 

"No, I should not. I do not expect you to understand… You cannot know the extent of what I have done to him. And I fear he may now realize this…" Not waiting to hear Vanyel's reply, Da'an quickly left the room. 

A _hertasi_ came in immediately, setting down a try on the table. "Thank you," Vanyel said softly, making sure not to spook him. The _hertasi_ nodded politely, disappearing out the door. 

Vanyel carefully sat down on the edge of the bed, gently placing his hand on Sandoval's shoulder. "It's time to wake, dear Sandoval," he said softly. "You've been long asleep. But you are now able to care for yourself." 

Sandoval stirred, slowly opening his eyes. He studied the room for a few moments, then turned to Vanyel. "Every thing is so dull… Where am I? What happened?" 

"You were injured in an accident," Vanyel explained. "You are in my quarters, where Moondance has been taking care of you. He has managed to Heal all your physical wounds, however…there is much you must learn to deal with mentally. Several of you channels have been opened; you will have to learn to use them." 

Sandoval seemed not to hear a word he said. "And my CVI?" 

"I assume you mean your Compulsions. Da'an called them the same thing. They have been reversed." 

"Reversed? But how? I wouldn't be able to live… And my skrill…" 

Vanyel smiled. "You underestimate Moondance's skills. What is often impossible by others' standards is many times commonplace for a Tayledras Healer of his talent. I think even he does not know how far his powers reach. As for your…creature," he motioned to Sandoval's skrill, "from what I saw several of the Compulsions merely provided a link between it and your mind. You are a Mindspeaker and an Empath now-you do not need such an artificial link. The two of you are now partners, no longer slaves of each other. You can now provide it with what it requires; it must no longer take those things from you. And it will do willing what you ask it; you no longer force it into your service-dominating it." He rose, taking the bread and water off the table. "I know this is difficult to understand-and it is so much to take in at this time. I will try to answer your questions as you eat." 

Sandoval nodded, struggling into a sitting position. Vanyel waited patiently-he was so weak… When he was settled, Vanyel handed him the bread and water. Tentatively, Sandoval took a bite of the bread, grimacing slightly. Vanyel laughed. "You may not find the taste pleasurable," he said, pulling a chair up next to the bed. "But it is made with many herbs which will help your condition. "Sitting down, he watched Sandoval as he ate. This was not the same man who had come into the Vale. He had lost something-his cold arrogance. The self-confidence and invincibility which had shown all too clearly in his eyes had been replaced by sadness and vulnerability. He had told Da'an that Sandoval would not be the same person, but he hadn't expected such and immediate or drastic change. The Compulsions…? Perhaps. They would have directed his movements, forcing him into states he otherwise would not be in. The pain…? Likely. It had a way of changing people completely. And being flooded by so many's thoughts and feelings would have a profound effect on anyone. 

"You said something about channels," Sandoval said, breaking Vanyel from his thoughts. "What were you talking about?" 

"Each Gift has its own channel. Mage, Fetching, Mindspeech, and so on. For a person to have these Gifts the channels must be open-the strength of the Gifts dependent on how wide open they are. Usually if these are to open in a lifetime, they do so naturally-and slowly-as a child. However, we now know they may be forced open. That is what happened to you. The energy which passed through your body blasted open several of these channels completely open all at once-gifting you with very strong Mindspeech, Empathy, and Healing." 

"That's what happened to you, wasn't it?" Sandoval asked. 

"I am surprised you remember that," Vanyel replied, "but, yes. Though I was not affected by node energy, it was Gate energy. And it opened my Mage channels." He met Sandoval's eyes, holding them in his gaze. "I know what you are going through, for I have been there myself. I will train you in what I can, and find others to help you in areas beyond my expertise." 

"Train?" 

"You must learn to use and control your powers." 

Sandoval was quiet for quite some time, turning his head away from Vanyel. "And what if I don't want to?" 

"Then they will consume you." 

_:Dark One well?:_ Serous asked, waking up from a nap and spotting Sandoval sitting up. He hopped to the bed, excited. The conversation grew silent, and Vanyel knew the bird had singled out only Sandoval to speak to. Vanyel broadened his 'hearing' enough to pick up what the bird was saying. He shuddered slightly; before now he would never had considered eavesdropping on a bondbird's conversation with its bonded. This just appeared to be a special case... 

_:Serous worry about Dark One. But all well now. No more hurt,:_ the bird continued. 

Sandoval looked to him, panicked. "Meet Serous. He's grown quite…fond of you." 

"Well, I'm not fond of him. Damn bird, go away," Sandoval said sharply. Serous chirped loudly in response , not moving. 

"Has anyone ever translated Tayledras into your tongue?" Vanyel asked, keeping his eyes focused on Serous. Sandoval didn't answer. "Roughly, it means Hawkbrothers. They breed a special kind of birds to work with them, smarter and bigger than their 'natural' counterparts. These are called bondbirds. At an early age, these birds bond, or form an exclusive connection, with a Tayledras. Or most of them do. Serous is an exception. He's lived in the Vale, unbonded, for a couple of years. And now, he's bonded to you." Vanyel glared at the bird. "I've tried to explain that you might not want him, but he's terribly stubborn." 

_:He not like. Go…:_ Serous Sent to Vanyel, sadness evident in his 'voice.' Turning from them, he flew out an open window. 

"Where's he going?" Sandoval asked, seeming truly unconcerned. 

Vanyel shook his head. "I don't know what bondbirds do when they're rejected. I am not Tayledras..." He stood, taking a few steps from the bed. "Come, my raven, it is time you learned to fly again…" 

*** 

Very carefully, Sandoval sat down on the bed. He was incredibly sore from the small amount of walking Vanyel had forced him to do. Sore for the first time in a long while. With his CVI he didn't seem to ever hurt like this-or at least he didn't notice it. Sandoval scoffed, it had been a long time since he'd felt anything-love, happiness, sadness… The CVI had blocked it all. Now these emotions were flooding back to him-and not all of them were his own. 

If they were to drown him, so be it. He would rather suffer at their mercy than be without them now that he had experienced that option. 

Why had he willing let the Taelons do this to him? His blind faith had gained him nothing. The power he had held was nothing more than illusionary. If he had been able to look close enough, he would have realized it did not truly exist. Even then it was only momentarily his. And what it had cost him… His life… His friends… His 'true' job… Deedeee… He drew a sharp breath, gasping in pain at the thought. Oh, God. Deedee. What had he done to her? His decisions had cost her life… 

Sandoval tentatively reached up to his cheek, wiping away a tear. He had thought the CVI provided clarity…but only now that it was gone was he seeing clearly. And he had opened his eyes on a scene he'd preferred to have kept hidden. 

He glanced to the skrill on his arm. Yet another species the Taelons had forced under their control. And another reminder of what they'd done to him, and how they had forced his compliance… A reminder of all the horrid things he had done for them… 

Sandoval closed his eyes, leaning back on the bed. He wouldn't wear this brand. Moondance had freed him from the CVI, surely he could do something about this… 

*** 

_:So this is where you've been hiding.:_ Yfandes stepped from the brush to find Da'an standing next to one of the Vale's waterfalls. 

Da'an turned to face her. _:Of them all, I think this one is the most beautiful.:_

Yfandes looked to the cascade of water. _:Yes. When we are in the Vale, I spend much time here. It is peaceful-a nice place to think…: _

_:I am not in the mood for word games…: _

_:Funny,:_ she laid down gracefully in the emerald green grass, _:I thought you were quite good at them.:_

Da'an was silent, avoiding her comment. 'Fandes snorted, settling comfortably into the silence. _:You can't avoid him forever.: _

_:Who said I was avoiding him?:_ Da'an asked defensively. _:I have no reason to keep from meeting with him-he serves me.: _

_:You're not stupid,:_ Yfandes replied. _:You question how he will react to you, now that he can see what you've done to him.: _

_:I never meant to hurt him…:_ Da'an said, giving in to her. _:I did not wish to take away his freewill…: _

_:You say that,:_ she snapped, _:but now that he has it, you will have nothing to do with him.:_ She studied him closely, extending her Senses to pick up anything he might be leaking. _:You're afraid,:_ she said bluntly. _:You're fond of him, and you're afraid that now that he has a choice he'll desert you.:_ Yfandes rose, going to Da'an's side. _:You did the right thing by allowing Moondance to remove the Compulsions. He'll understand that and thank you-eventually. Yes, right now he's upset; there is so much he must get over before he can forgive you. It will happen, though-in time. Be patient. He will choose you. But he will serve you in his own way.:_ Finishing, she took a few steps away, giving him some room. Silence descended over the area except for the constant fall of water. Bird calls shattered the silence at random intervals as the feathered creatures marked and defended _their_ part of the Vale. 

Yfandes was just about the leave when Da'an broke the silence. _:You have something else you wanted to speak to me about?:_ he asked, almost hopefully. 

_:You're getting too good at reading me. I'll have to put up better shields,:_ Yfandes said, amused. _:Actually, yes. I did.:_ She turned to face him yet again. _:I've been talking to several people on the Council, and they're of the opinion that we're not going to be able to return you to your home…:_

Da'an eyed her questioningly. 

_:You have to understand there is so much to consider. We know nothing about how you got here. In fact, until you showed up no one had any idea that other worlds _existed_, let alone that a Gate could be built between them. Not the Companions, not the Tayledras…:_ She paused for a moment, letting him process what she had said. _:We don't even know where to begin studying the phenomena. Was it Vanyel that triggered it? It's not unusual for unexpected things to happen around him-he's just so powerful… Was it the places the Gate was set? A joining of energies which sparked this? Or did it have something to do with your world? The 'shuttle'? The storm? Maybe it was both worlds-a connection of energy between them that was tapped. Or perhaps they were merely closer together for some reason. Then again, this could be a natural occurrence and we were all just in the right place at the right time.:_ Yfandes shook her head at the thought. 

_:Besides,:_ she continued, _:it's dangerous. You know what happened with the lay line, and the Tayledras have been moving lines longer than I've been alive. Energies are just so unpredictable-especially Gate energies. Eventually maybe someone will figure out the secret of such a Gate as the one that brought you here-and could send you back. But it is going to take time-lots of it. And if it endangers _anyone_…: _

_:I do not wish to place anyone in danger.:_ Da'an bowed his head slightly. _:It seems then that we have little choice but to remain. I do not mind so much myself, but the others… I would have liked to have been able to return them to the life they know.: _

_:A life which neither of them thrived in,:_ Yfandes said, startling Da'an. _:Ah, do not think that I didn't notice. Both of them were unhappy, feeling as if they had no one in their world, no one to care for and no one to care for them in return. They are finding that here. Lili has already become good friends with Sundance and is quickly learning the ways of a scout. It is a friendship which I think will last. As for Sandoval… He could not return anyway-not without extensive training. Even then, he still would harbor so much power… In time I feel he too will discover what he is looking for here.:_ She glanced at Da'an, trying to read his reaction. She knew what she had said was the truth, but often the truth was the hardest to accept. 

Da'an nodded in agreement, meeting Yfandes' crystal blue eyes. _:And I too have found a friendship I did not expect.:_

*** 

Da'an stopped on the path, eyeing the last bend cut into the undergrowth. He knew what was ahead-Yfandes had made a point of telling him where Sandoval would be this afternoon. He'd resolved not to give into her, avoiding the attaché at all costs. But as the day wore on, he found himself drawn more and more to this spot… Making up his mind, Da'an continued on. 

Reaching the clearing, he stopped once again. Sandoval sat leaned against a large rock, his back turned to Da'an. He seemed focused on the waterfall that cascaded into the pool at his feet, yet another of the Vale's numerous waterfalls… Sandoval paid no attention to Da'an's presence. Da'an glanced to him, wondering momentarily whether the was _capable_ of rising without assistance after being abed for so long. 

"I can walk perfectly well. I'm not that helpless," Sandoval replied sharply, still not turning to look at Da'an. 

Da'an started. How had he known…? 

"I'm sorry," the man mumbled, closing his eyes as if in pain and bowing his head. "There are just so many things that find their way into my head-even when I don't want them to. I don't know how-or why…" He shook his head slightly. "I can't help but hear them and see them…" 

Da'an nodded, understanding now. Empathy. Vanyel had said Sandoval was talented at Empathy-and Mindspeech. He would have to be more careful of how he shielded himself. 

He hesitated, for once not knowing how to begin a conversation with Sandoval. There was so much to be said between them…and this was definitely _not_ the same person he had met years ago. It was as if something had been destroyed in him-as if he had been broken by all that had happened. Da'an blushed, tilting his head. It was all too clear who was to blame… 

"I am glad to see you are well," Da'an said finally, coming to stand next to Sandoval. 

"Why did you do this to me, Da'an?" Sandoval asked instead of answering, jumping directly to the point. 

"It was the will of the Synod," he answered. "I wish it had not happened." 

"Deedee was the only reason I lived; I loved her," he continued, staring into the water. "And I locked her away for no reason. I destroyed her life, and I was her death." 

Da'an flinched at the words. He had not known Sandoval had such deep feelings about his wife. "I am sorry," he said softly, wanting to say more but unable to find the words. 

"No, you are not sorry. All you want is for me to do your bidding. You care about nothing else," Sandoval accused. 

"You are unfortunately correct. That is exactly how the Synod view the human race. They plan only to use you as a means to their end-regardless of what it will cost your race. There was a time I supported such a method, but I no longer do." 

Sandoval finally met his eyes. "I would have served you without the MI. There was no need…" 

Da'an held his gaze for as long as he could stand, then turned away. "I understand that now. If only I had realized it sooner…" 

"Nothing would have changed," Sandoval finished for him. 

"You are probably correct." Da'an paused, not wanting to ask his next question. "What is to come of this?" 

Sandoval shook his head. "I don't know. There's too much to consider." 

A heavy silence descended upon them as they sat, unmoving, each lost in their own thoughts. Da'an let his attention fall to Sandoval, studying every detail. It took a few moments for him to realize Sandoval no longer had his skrill. "I would think the future is all too clear-you have removed everything that ever connected you to the Taelons." 

Sandoval followed his gaze, realizing what he meant. "You expected me to keep it, after what you've done to me?" he snapped. "I couldn't live that way-not anymore. I can't handle it right now. Maybe later…" Sandoval paused. "Moondance found someone to host it…" 

Da'an nodded, sensing it was time to leave. This awkward conversation had drug on long enough; there was no use torturing either party any longer. 

"Da'an?" Sandoval asked. Da'an stopped, turning back to him. "Eventually…" He didn't finish his comment, but Da'an knew… Nodding, he left the clearing. 

***


	6. I Choose You--Part 6

Sandoval sat, staring out the window into the pitch black night

Sandoval sat, staring out the window into the pitch black night. He sighed silently, laying down on the bed, but knew he would not be able to sleep. Everything was just so hopeless… His conversation with Da'an had shown him that. 

What had happened? There had been so much he wanted to say, to make Da'an understand just how much his life had been ruined. But for the first time in his life the words would not come. Every time he looked at the Taelon memories flooded his mind. Though no longer enhanced by a CVI, the emotions associated with them were free to haunt him. There was such pain…unbearable pain which threatened to consume him like an uncontrolled flame. 

Sandoval shuddered as thoughts of Deedee floated through his mind. Deedee… He'd destroyed the very thing he had lived for. Willingly destroyed her for nothing-for a group of aliens who planned to enslave the human race. And he had been helping them… As if hurting Deedee wasn't enough… How could he live knowing all that he had done? The pain…the memories-they would be with him forever. Sandoval sat up, glancing to the knife that had been left on the table with the fruit. There was only one way to stop them… 

Somewhere in the dark of the night Sandoval heard a bird scream… 

*** 

"Thank you for coming, Sunlark," Vanyel said as the _kestra'chern_ came into view. He sighed to himself-he was lucky Sunlark had shown up. 

"I must say I was surprised when I received your message. It is not often I would expect to hear from you." Sunlark paused for a moment. "But then I realized you had an Outlander in your care. I would have come sooner, but…" 

"I know you are busy," Vanyel said. "I am just glad you agreed to come." 

Sunlark eyed him closely. "You need not have questioned such a thing. I would not hesitate to respond to a friend's request." He nodded towards the door to the building. "Shall we…?" 

Vanyel nodded in response, shuddering slightly at the thought. He'd spent as little time as possible with Sandoval. While he wanted to comfort him, this brought back memories he didn't want to face. Especially around Sandoval. He couldn't help but feel guilty loving someone after… 

"Van?" Sunlark asked softly. "Are you well?" 

Vanyel started, broken from his thoughts. "Yeah. I'm fine," he replied shakily, still trying to push unwanted memories from his mind. 

Sunlark seemed unconvinced, placing a hand lightly on Vanyel's shoulder. "There is no need for you to accompany me if you feel you cannot do so. I do not wish this to cause either of you pain…" 

Vanyel smiled slightly, relaxing at Sunlark's touch. It was cool and comforting; calmness radiated from it and spread through his body. He closed his eyes, relishing in the peace it brought. 

"Better now?" Sunlark asked several moments later, breaking their touch. 

"Yes, I am." Vanyel nodded, this time sincere. He opened his eyes, meeting Sunlark's. "Thank you." 

"There is no need to thank me. As I said, I do not hesitate to respond to a friend's request-or need." He motioned to the door yet again. "Once more, shall we proceed?" 

Vanyel followed Sunlark into the semi-darkened room. Sandoval sat on the bed, staring blankly into space-focusing on nothing. He looked surprisingly well, considering. They had been lucky-too lucky. If Serous hadn't come to him panicked, they would not have known until it was too late for Moondance to do anything for him. Vanyel started to get Sandoval's attention, but Sunlark silenced him with little more than a look. 

He watched silently as Sunlark sat down facing Sandoval, taking one of his hands and examining the fresh scar on his wrist. It was amazing how quickly people could be changed. For appearing so strong, in truth they were so fragile. The slightest incident could shatter them into a thousand pieces. He suspected this had been building for Sandoval-he was only here to see the fall… 

"This is becoming all too familiar a mark," Sunlark said, breaking Sandoval from his trance. He traced the jagged line with his fingers. "It pains me each time I see another, for it signifies more hopelessness and loneliness than any person should be forced to endure." 

"How can you know what I'm feeling?" Sandoval asked halfheartedly. 

Sunlark smiled. "I believe you are the answer to your own question. How is it that you know I am sincere in wishing to help you?" Sandoval was silent. "It is my job to know, Sandoval, and to relieve that pain-in much the same way Moondance does for physical wounds." 

"I don't need you," Sandoval insisted. 

"Others disagree," Sunlark glanced at Vanyel, "as do I. I can only imagine how difficult it is for you. You have been taken from the world you know, and forced into this one. Then to endure the pain of having node energy sent through you and dealing with the channels it opened. Mindspeech and Empathy are difficult Gifts to deal with, even for one experienced in such things-especially at your strength and together in combination. Though you have been shown the very basics in shielding, you are not yet versed enough to protect yourself completely. Things must seem terribly bleak to you-living like this for the rest of your life." 

Sandoval bowed his head, refusing to acknowledge Sunlark's words. Sunlark studied him closely, and Vanyel wondered what else the _kestra'chern_ had planned. He had never seen a _kestra'chern_ fail to achieve the results they wanted… 

"Or perhaps I have not yet hit on the reason," Sunlark continued. "Perhaps it goes deeper than what has happened here. The Compulsions you suffered under…the loss of your wife…the things you did for the Companions…-all are difficult to bear." 

Sandoval looked up, surprised. The fear and pain in his eyes tore at Vanyel. Sandoval had lost a loved one? He hadn't known… 

"Do not question how I have learned such things," Sunlark warned him. "Realize only that I know-it is no longer a secret of yours to keep. Secrets such as that will destroy you, Sandoval. If kept inside, they grow and become more poisonous with time. You keep many secrets…" 

"Then what am I supposed to do?" 

"You must have the courage to face your past and all that has happened in it. But at the same time, you must let go of the guilt and the pain. Never forget what you have experienced, but do not let it consume you either." Sunlark rose, letting go of Sandoval's arm. "You have been given a second chance on this world. Do not bind yourself to your past life, but learn to live here. Find enjoyment in life once again." Sunlark turned quickly, leaving the room. 

Vanyel hurried after him, finding Sunlark waiting just outside the door. "He does not need me," Sunlark said, taking Vanyel's hand as he had Sandoval's. Vanyel tried not to flinch as Sunlark turned it over, revealing his own scars. "He needs you." With that, Sunlark disappeared down the path. 

Vanyel sighed, realizing Sunlark was right-Sandoval should know… Unfortunately, that did not make the story any easier to tell. It would require telling Sandoval things he'd prefer the man not know-least he reject him for what he was. Vanyel shook his head slightly-that he would not be able to handle. He loved Sandoval too much to keep from being hurt if he was rejected by him. Taking a deep breath, Vanyel stepped back into the room. There was no other choice… 

Sandoval was once again staring off into space. This time, however, he appeared to be less trying to escape all that had happened, than contemplate it. Vanyel laughed softly, taking the seat Sunlark had used. "It seems Sunlark has given my raven much to consider." 

Sandoval turned from his thoughts, focusing his attention on Vanyel. "Why do you call me that? Raven?" 

Vanyel studied him for a moment. He'd asked as if there was another meaning for the word, which Sandoval was surprised to hear applied. Or perhaps surprised that Vanyel knew. "Black hair is uncommon in the Vale. The energies which flow through here tend to bleach it to a silver. Yours will turn eventually, but for now it is black-like a raven's feathers." Vanyel switched topics. "If you do not mind having more to think about, I have a story I would like to share with you. Some of it you have already heard, but…" Sandoval nodded. 

"I have told you before that I was fostered at the Haven court with my aunt, Savil," Vanyel started. "I met someone there-someone who was to mean a lot to me…" 

Vanyel stopped, hesitating. There was no easy way to say what needed to be said… "I…I do not know what your kind would call it-or how they view such a thing. Here I would be called _shay'a'chern_, or _shaych_. Basically, it refers to the fact that I prefer lovers of my own gender… Here, little is though of it-while not productive to the survival of a race, it is an accepted occurrence in nature. And so the Tayledras see it as nothing unusual. Starwind and Moondance are not an exception… 

"But at Haven, _shay'a'chern_ are not as accepted, nor as plentiful. If it had not been for Tylendel, I would not have known what I am. He showed me much about myself, including the fact that we were _shay'kreth'ashke_, or lifebonded. That bond connected us so closely…" Vanyel shook his head, moving on. 

"Tylendel had a twin, Staven. He was killed--murdered, actually--in a blood feud. Tylendel vowed revenge, and I helped him get it. He used me to help him build a Gate and attack his enemy using magic. Tylendel's Companion did not approve and tried to stop him-getting killed in the process. Without his Companion, and mad with grief and magic, Tylendel killed himself. It is a long explanation and I do not understand it all myself, but the Gate energy was grounded through me-and my channels were blasted open. 

"I blamed myself for what happened to Tylendel. I should have been able to stop it. And I could not face living another moment without him. His death had left a void in me that could never be filled. So I tried to kill myself." Vanyel turned his wrists so that Sandoval could see the scars. "To punish myself for letting Tylendel die… To escape the pain… 

"It was not easy, learning to live once again. Even today, I miss Tylendel. To tell you this brings back painful memories and questions of how I could have prevented his death." 

Vanyel closed his eyes and bowed his head-not wanting to see Sandoval's reaction. "I will leave you now..." He stood to go. 

He hesitated. This was his only chance to tell Sandoval what he had wanted to from the first day he had seen him. After this… And he had told him so much already… Vanyel looked to Sandoval, not trying to stop the stream of tears which ran down his cheeks. "I have not loved anyone since 'Lendel. I had feared I would never do so again. He gave me so much, I felt to love another as deeply as I had him would be to betray him. But I see now I was wrong, for I love you, my raven. And I understand why you can most likely not return my love…" Vanyel turned and fled from the room. 

*** 

"You appear to be doing well." 

Sandoval glanced behind him to see Lili approaching. He eyed the clothing she wore--scouts clothing, he'd learned that much. Lili as a scout? Made sense. Without answering, he turned back to the stream. 

Lili sat down next to him. "Heard they removed your CVI." Lili once again didn't get an answer, she paused. "Did I interrupt something?" she asked, tentatively. 

"No. I was just thinking about Deedee." He scoffed to himself. It was easy for Sunlark to talk--but it was harder to come to terms with her death and leave the pain behind. 

Lili studied him for a few moments, deciding. "There's something I've wanted to tell you for quite a while," Lili said. "Sandoval, Deedee's not dead." 

Sandoval jumped at her words. Not dead?! 

Lili hesitated. "Boone and I worked for the Resistance. He knew you needed to think she was dead, so that's what he told you. But actually, we gave her a new identity and a new place to live…." 

"She's not dead?" he asked. 

Lili shook her head. "I'm going to go, Sandoval. Let me know if you need anything…" 

Sandoval hardly heard her go. Miraculously, some of the pain that had burned so inside of him had been extinguished. He would never hold Deedee in his arms again, but somehow knowing she was alive was enough. He had not completely destroyed her life, she had been given a second chance to live… And he hoped she had taken it--she deserved it, deserved a chance to be happy. 

Boone… God. Even if Boone was alive, he would never return to his world to thank him. It was too late... Sighing softly, Sandoval looked to the sky, turning his face to the sun. "Thank you," he whispered, hoping his words would be carried to whatever place Boone now resided in. For some reason he felt they would. 

_:Dark One no longer hurt?:_

He opened his eyes at the voice in his mind. Serous sat on a rock that jutted out of the stream, his head tilted and his eyes fixed on Sandoval. "Go away," he said sharply, then stopped, seeing an unmistakable look of hurt in the bird's eyes. "Some," he answered, laughing at the idea of speaking to a bird--or of the bird speaking back! 

_:Heart hurt,:_ Serous replied. Sandoval looked at him questioningly, wondering to which of them Serous was referring. He didn't answer, and Sandoval let his mind wander yet again. 

So much had happened in these past few days. He was only just now beginning to understand. It would take a lifetime to comprehend it completely. But he had a lifetime…. Sunlark made so much sense--he had a second chance. A chance to begin his life over, without the burdens of his previous one. This world was so different…. 

Things had already changed. In his last life, Deedee had been the only person to really care for him--and he had taken that for granted. Here… Moondance, Sunlark, Vanyel—they all seemed to care what happened to him, cared enough to help him. 

Sandoval sighed. Vanyel… He hadn't expected such a revelation from the man--but he should have guessed. Had he been so blind as to miss Starwind and Moondance? He picked up a stone from the bank, turning it over in his hand and examining it. It had been so long since anyone had loved him--cared for him that deeply… And Vanyel had been telling the truth, he knew that much--even without the added benefits he seemed to be cursed with. Why would Vanyel lie about such a thing? 

Sandoval stopped suddenly, realizing what he was considering. Vanyel?! No…he couldn't. But… No. It was wrong. 

He tossed the stone into the stream and closed his eyes. Wrong by whose standards? His world's? Those were no longer valid--not here, not in this place. This was a whole new world. Why should he have to answer to the morals of his previous life? And Vanyel had said it was accepted here… 

Sandoval shuddered. He was so alone--and afraid. He didn't want to face the rest of his life without someone at his side. And Vanyel…. He shook his head, trying to rid it of the thought. No…he couldn't. 

_:Vanyel nice,:_ Serous said, trying to help him. 

Sandoval opened his eyes. Since he was talking to a bird, nothing else should surprise him. He surveyed the clearing. Vanyel had done so much for him, it was only fair that he give the relationship a chance. Sandoval sighed again, he needed to give several things a chance…. 

"Serous?" he asked quietly. The bird chirped in response, cocking its head the other way. "Can you forgive me for what I said the other day?" 

_:Dark One sick. Not know what he say. Like Serous?:_

Sandoval smiled--he'd never been forgive quite that easily. "Yes, I like Serous." 

_:Good. Good match.:_

"I don't really know what to do with you…." Sandoval warned. 

_:Dark One learn. Serous teach. Not hard….:_ Serous replied, seeming to smile. 

*** 

"Sandoval? What are you doing here?" Vanyel asked as Sandoval entered the room. He glanced out at the rapidly darkening twilight. He was surprised Sandoval had found the place. Since Sandoval had been using the ground room where he usually stayed, he had moved into one of the other unused ones on the outskirts of the Vale. Actually, he was surprised Sandoval had come at all…. 

"I've been thinking quite a bit the past few days. You said before that you'd train me…." Sandoval answered. 

Serous flew in through the door and Vanyel watched as Sandoval almost instinctively held out his arm, now covered with a leather gauntlet, for the bird to perch on. Obviously he had been thinking, he hadn't been doing that a couple of days ago…. Vanyel glanced at the pair; Serous was right-they were a good match. But when did he decide to go ahead and take up a bondbird? And how had he learned to handle him so well in such a short time? 

_:Good teacher,:_ Serous said, meeting Vanyel's eyes. Vanyel laughed softly, he'd forgotten the bird's preference of listening to _everyone's_ thoughts, and not just his bonded's. Hopefully that would soon change…. The bird stayed on Sandoval's arm for a moment longer then moved to a perch that had been built into the wall for such a purpose. 

"As much as I can," Vanyel explained. "My talents do not lie in Empathy or Healing. But I can teach you the basics and Mindspeech. The rest…there are others I can find to help you in those." 

Sandoval nodded, turning away slightly. Vanyel watched him closely; something about this was difficult for him. "Are you okay?" Vanyel asked, placing a hand on Sandoval's shoulder and steering him to a chair. "I could get Moondance or Sunlark…." 

"No," Sandoval said several moments later, but continued to avoid Vanyel's gaze. 

When he finally did look up, Vanyel's breath caught in his throat. There was an incredible longing in Sandoval's eyes that mirrored the one in his own. Vanyel hardly breathed; he dared not hope the gaze was for him. He wanted this too much…. "Perhaps you should go." 

Sandoval flinched at the words. "I'll never be able to thank you for all that you've done…," he started. 

"And you don't need to," Vanyel interrupted. He backed up a few steps. No. Never, _never_ like this… "Go." 

_:Stop, _ke'chara_,:_ Yfandes' voice rang sharply in his head. 

_:'Fandes, he's…,:_ Vanyel protested. 

_:No, he's not,:_ she insisted, her 'voice' softer and quieter. _:He didn't come here to ask you to train him, you know that. But he didn't come here to 'repay' you either.:_ She paused. _:This is not unknown to his people, but it is not accepted. He never thought he could have feelings like this towards another of his own sex. Van, he made the decision to give this a chance several days ago, and ever since then it's been torturing him. He's had ideas instilled in him that no longer apply here, and he realizes that. But he can't help listening to them. Every time he decides to back out, his thoughts turn to you again.:_

Yfandes stopped for a moment, but started again before Vanyel had a chance to speak. _:Whether he's finally given into 'fate' or not, I don't know. But he _is_ trying to learn about this world. You've been avoiding him, so you don't know that he's been talking to all manner of people--Sunlark, Moondance, Starwind, Sundance, Brightwind, Wintersong… The rest of the time he spends by himself, thinking… I believe your raven has learned more about himself in these past few days than he has his entire life….: _

_:How do you know?:_ Vanyel asked, terribly skeptical. 

_:Who do you think told him where to find you?:_ she asked. Yfandes took on a commanding tone once again. _:This is hard for him, and it has taken much for him to come to you. You _will_ hear him out.:_ And she was gone--her link to him completely severed. 

Vanyel stood, dumbstruck. As if what she had told him wasn't enough, he couldn't remember the last time he'd gotten a reprimand from Yfandes. Sandoval willingly…? Why? "I'm sorry," he said softly, sitting down in a nearby chair. 

Sandoval didn't respond to his words, and Vanyel let the awkward silence drag on. Sandoval needed to be the one to break it. 

"Vanyel, I didn't start with this in mind. But…it's been so long since anyone has cared whether I live or die…," he said finally. 

"Which I will give you freely in any case," Vanyel explained, still panicky. 

Sandoval nodded his head. "When I realized what I was thinking…. My society doesn't work that way--I'd developed a low tolerance towards homosexuals. But I realized I couldn't judge this world by my standards. I was just going to give it a chance--merely talk to you and see what happened. I didn't think anything would come of it. I mean, hell, I'd just told a _bird_ I'd 'bond' with it." Sandoval hesitated. "You'd done so much for me… _That_ was meant to be a repayment…" 

Vanyel's eyes widened in surprise. Had he been…? Vanyel quickly thickened his shields. He couldn't really hold it against Sandoval if he'd been prying--untrained as he was he couldn't really help doing so. 

"The more I thought about it, the more I realized I did care for you--almost as deeply as you care for me. And that scared me. It is easy to say you won't judge by particular standards, but it's harder to do. But every time I decided not to go through with it, my thoughts turned back to you. It was going to tear me apart." 

Sandoval sighed, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. Vanyel longed to hold him in his arms and comfort him; allow him to cry on his shoulder and tell him all would be well. But he couldn't. Not until he knew exactly what was driving this--and assured himself that it was what Sandoval wanted, not what he felt he had to do. 

"I love you, Vanyel," Sandoval said quietly. Vanyel tried not to flinch--the words had obviously cost Sandoval so much that they could be nothing but sincere. Vanyel studied Sandoval closely, he was battling so much to do this--his personality, his ideas…. There was nothing left of the arrogant, by-the-book man who had walked into this Vale. Nor was this a good indicator, Vanyel reminded himself. One had to look past the layers which were still crumbling to find the true essence. Kind and gentle, yet brilliant and introverted--Sandoval would be strong beyond all his other traits. It would take time though; healing does not occur over night. 

"When I think of facing the future alone, it scares me. And the only one I want at my side is you. The thought of losing you cuts me as deeply as the thought of Deedee being dead. But to never have you, that hurts just as worse," Sandoval continued. 

"And Deedee?" Vanyel asked. 

Sandoval closed his eyes and smiled slightly--as if, for once, the thought of his wife had brought forth pleasant memories. "Do you think it's possible to love two people at the same time?" 

Vanyel joined Sandoval in his smile as he remembered Tylendel. "Yes, I do." He stood up, taking a step towards Sandoval. "From the moment I saw you, I knew I loved you. I don't know whether one can have two lifebonds in a lifetime, but I feel with you the same thing I did with 'Lendel." He took Sandoval's hand in his, pulling him from the chair. "If it is what you want, I shall never leave your side, my _shaya_," he whispered, putting out the magelights with a mere thought. 

"And I will never leave yours…"


End file.
